Friday, December 23, 2005

Forgot to show them off...

Haha! Just remembered I bought some new earrings from Perlini's for CNY. Here they are.














If the above picture not so clear, the below picture is what it almost looks like. Minus the balls ;)

Nice???

Friday, December 09, 2005

NO ONE IS ALLOWED TO HATE ME!!! NO ONE!!!

Why do I feel like the most unloved and unappreciated person on the entire bloody Earth? I have a hunch that I am destined to spend this birthday unloved and ignored.

It all started from the fact that I can't handle the bitch in my house. Pardon me for being human. I can only do so much while people who rant and rave about me being a beast for complaining and the afore-mentioned people don't even care to take over my duties when they come back for their holidays. Now they're telling me that they'd give up everything if they could, so that they can be with the bitch and pamper her until she dies.

I cried for like half and hour last night. I felt so sorry I couldn't take better care of her. I felt sorry that I can't find someone good enough to take her in so that she doesn't have to suffer the life she has with me now, tied up for almost 12 hours each time. I cried for my fear of all the creepy crawlies that I had to pluck off her, even though I was do damn afraid of them. I am so afraid the creepies are gonna breed all around the house and make it a parasite haven. I cried for all the work I have to dig through the office just to be able to come home and bathe her to get rid of those nasty bugs. And now, I am being accused of wanting to send her to the SPCA to be put to sleep. I NEVER SAID THAT!! I wouldn't be crying if I'd thought of that as a solution. She is spoiled and pampered, she makes me late for work every morning, she destroys stuff around the house.

I am only human to feel stressed and worn out from taking care of her. If someone really loves her that much, I am looking forward to see that display of affection when she comes back. She is not my ONLY responsibility. I have so much more to do besides taking care of her. DOESN'T ANYONE REALISE THAT???!!!

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Cute! Kawaii! Eeeeee!!!

I just got back from S'pore. So as usual, I must brag about all the cute and beautiful stuff I bought. But this time, it's mostly just cute! So cute!!!

First up is this cute doggie with jellies in his belly. No, I didn't buy him from Singapore. You can buy him from Jusco's supermarket for RM21+. It's a coin bank when you're done eating all the jellies.


Up next is my singing pig. This was my first acquisition when I arrived in Singapore, courtesy of my aunt. You wanna know what it sings? Come visit me! Haha!

This is the extremely cute and highly sought after Fish Out of Water t-shirt. All Chicken Little movie fans will agree with me. Right? Even a guy would tell me it's cute.

Finally, my most expensive buy in Singapore. My shiny and adorable leather shoes. They gave me blisters, but I'll love them no matter what because I scoured the entire Ngee Ann City for them. Aren't they cute?

So this sums up my trip. Yes... it was all about shopping. Afterall, Christmas and Chinese New Year are just around the corner. Right? Hehe!

Infectious Infection...

Since I managed to get home early from work today and am in a bloggin mood, I shall allow myself to be infected by the Blue Bubble Kat.

Rules: Post 5 random and weird facts about yourself, then at the end, list the names of 5 people whom you in turn infect. Also, leave a post to these people letting them know they have been infected.

1. My both my thighs, up till my bum, are not at all proportionate. Sometimes one side of my pant leg will feel tighter than the other and sometimes, makes my pants sorta get crooked.

2. I hate all sort of creatures, except cute fluffies like doggies, hamsters, guinea pigs.

3. I ate my own boogers when I was a kid. They taste like salty treats.

4. I get high... just by breathing (I think everyone knows that)

5. I always have a look at my poop before I flush it. Just in case there is blood or anything weird. I was told this is a healthy thing to do. Helps you spot problems with your body earlier ;)

Am I not the grossest person ever? I shall now infect the Goldfish, Tortoise, Vinnie the Vamp, The Bassist and Mandy.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Please see my below

The highlight of today was a mail we got from the receiving bay this morning. It said:

Hi All,

Pls see my below.

Doesn't this just get you thinking. Hehe! Another one which my colleague mentioned before went like this.

Will f/u ASAP.

Just in case you get the wrong idea, "f/u" means follow-up. These people and their improvised abbreviations. Sometimes I wonder if it is really that difficult to type a full sentence.

Today was pretty uneventful. Except for this little meeting we have with the regional procurement/supply/whatever-they're-doing people. It seems that each buyer will be monitored on a monthly basis and they will be giving out Buyer of the Month awards (plant level) and also Buyer of the Quarter (regional level). BotM is just a paper award so that you can show off to the next company you apply with. BotQ is a paper award and also some monetary reward or maybe some free gift vouchers. I suppose this will be my aim for now. To be BotM and if possible BotQ. It's absolutely within reach as I am in charge of the least number of commodities in the entire company. The other half of my job is taking care of JanJan's stuff. She has lots of stuff to take care of. But if there is some problem with her stuff, it's not gonna show-up in the reports that the evaluations are derived from. Hehe! Evil me! >:) But of course I will try to do everything perfectly so that I can prove to my other colleagues that I am worthy of being BotM. Hehe!

So that kinda wraps up today's stories. 1 more good news is that my delinquent supplier has been spitting out their past due orders. I can finally start breathing again. I ate instant noodles for dinner. So sad... but I had a delicious and big lunch today. So I suppose that is suppose to offset the instant noodles. And I also learnt that I should never bring junk food to work. I tend to eat it at the wrong times and get myself bloated and feeling sick. No more junk food at work for me :P I'm getting fat! Btw, gonna follow my colleague to try out her yoga class tomorrow. Hope it's fun...

*I'm droning, aren't I?

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Kŭmanhaseyo! Kwanshim ŏpsŏyo!

Hmm... by now, you'd think that I've already died or something. No, I'm still hanging on. I suppose I am supposed to be happy now, since I received a little validation of my value to the department. My HOD actually thinks that I am the "most competent" (in terms of familiarity with the job) among all the new buyers since I've had experience with the company. I'm supposed to puff up like Bloat now, but I was deflated almost immediately by the onslaught of duties that I have been working on for the past weeks. Btw, this will probably last until all the other new buyers catch up and stabilize.

Thanks to one delinquent supplier, I have poop on my hands on a daily basis, and this poop ain't easy to clean up. From now till we find an alternative supplier to replace this delinquent fella, we're short of materials for production and everyday is focused on making sure we have enough to feed those damn SMT machines down in the production line to make enough PCB boards to keep HP happy.

It's not easy to do your own job when dozens of people keep coming up to you and giving you new tasks. All because I'm the "most competent", I have to "pao kah liao". Lotsa seniors tend to hand me their tasks because the new girls under them would take too long to finish and they have trouble finish their own work. As if I don't have the same problem. Being fluffy and perky does not mean one has nothing to do. I have to keep up that kinda attitude or I'll sink. I try to be active and perky to keep my spirit up. But these people are just trying to sink me, one task at a time. Everything needs to be done ASAP. I can't say no cos JanJan once gave the green light to hand me any kind of work associated to the kind of stuff I do on a daily basis.

I wish I could be like Chicken Little and say "Today is a new day!". I do try to say "This is a new week.", but each week rarely gets better. It either stays the same or gets worse. I used to be able to finish my work by the time I go home everyday. Now I always something to continue tomorrow, or something I cannot settle today. Then, I'll go home and think about it all night. I try to bring home work, but I rarely have the time to finish it cos I do have to eat, shower, rest and sleep. I will not forgo my sleep for work. Doesn't help me or the company if I go to work and feel like a zombie. I kinda felt like one today. I left work before 7pm today. Couldn't take it....

So what do I do now? Since I worked on a day off during the Deeparaya holidays, Materials Manager, Mr.9-Stars seemed rather impressed with me (he's the grumpy Singh who interviewed me). Now that I'm slowly sinking, I really hope I don't make noticeable mistakes and lose the credibility I have gained in the eyes of my superiors and co-workers. Need to push-hard now. Even though I am aiming to leave the company, I don't wanna leave with the impression of being a ball of fluff.

In the end, it's just a job, all in a day's work. I used to wonder how JanJan can eat, sleep and breathe work. I am beginning to catch her germs now. I hope I don't get it all. I just need a germ or two to give me drive. I don't want to be a slave to the company. Hence this post's title "Stop hassling me! I'm not interested!". Not interested in being the best. I just want to be good. Being the best doesn't give me an increment. Being the best and getting gastric and having bad health is not going to get me pity or anyone apologising for the work which caused my illnesses. I just want to do my job. I don't need to be a hero.

P.S. I think I'm starting to write like a bore... waaa!! :"(

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Date with Wicked Witch Postponed!

Just a quick update for those who are wondering how my day with the Wicked Witch of the West went. You are concerned, aren't you? There are people who want to know, right? :)

Because our sad little computer lab has been booked by someone else for the week, the Wicked Witch postponed training to the next week. I should probably say "Yay!" but better to have finished the training this week than to prolong the thought of the torture coming next week, right? Hehe! So I would say "Boo!" But what can we do? We're just little soldiers in our little infantry, doing all the crap job while most managers, including the Wicked Witch, especially the Wicked Witch, goes home before 6:30pm 99% of the time. We go home between 6:30 to 9pm. Some people stay even later. I came home at 8 today. Partly cos I was waiting for my Beelurved to come fetch me.

So keep visiting me here, in case I do update. I feel so alienated at work, on account of being fluffy. I need you guys, real humans who know me, to give me some validation that I am still thought of. Hehe!

Monday, October 10, 2005

Bite me!!!

Yea... by some miracle today, I managed to clear all my work before 6pm. Even had time to declutter my mailbox and delete all those mails which have nothing to do with my job or whatsoever. And of course, I ran home as quick as I could. I mainly had time to do all this because I had no training today. A day free from the lecturing and nagging of the Wicked Witch of the West.

Tomorrow... tomorrow is a different story. Tomorrow we have a date with the Wicked Witch again. And maybe she'll smack us with her broomstick if we don't do as she says.

My immediate superior and my dept head were on leave today. I suppose that also explains why I didn't have too much to do. Also cos I dunno what to do with some of the stuff, so I have to wait for my immediate superior, lets call her JanJan, to come back tomorrow before I can do anything.

Thank you to Kat and Andrea for offering me jobs. Hehe! I'll just wait for Infineon to call me. I've also been offered a job with Panasonic (the one who makes electronic components) in KL by a supplier just cos I told him I have not decided to follow Flextronics to PTP, Johor. As if I'm gonna take the job. My colleagues yell at Panasonic staff over the phone everyday cos they can't keep up with our demands and datelines. I do not want to work for a company who can't meet datelines and have to deal with people pressing on me to send them stuff. I have enough stress getting suppliers to deliver on time.

I'm beginning to think that people in the office seriously think I'm a truly fluffy airhead. We had another new buyer this week and she happens to be a schoolmate of mine. True, she speaks forcefully and she has good English vocab and she is supposed to be studying law and stopped for awhile. All my senior colleagues are hoping that she will be the catch they're hoping for. The power worker and speaker they can groom to handle all work and also teleconferences and so forth. Funny... they've never mentioned me in such light. Hehe! I suppose they don't find me serious enough or forceful enough or power enough ;) What do you think? Just cos I clown around at work means I'm some twit :P I do that cos I need an outlet to release tension. I'll go mad if I'm straight-faced all day. But then again, sometimes it pays to seem like a twit. Then they don't dump the complicated work on you. Hehe! But it's not like I don't perform. I do my share, ok! :P

I'm seriously caught between wanting to be the great employee and not wanting to have all sorts of responsibility thrown at me. Which path should I choose? Maybe I'll just stick to being the so-so employee so that I can go home by 7pm everyday. That way when I have kids, they won't be hyper and undisciplined and my family may not become dysfunctional. Good idea?

*Edited at 8:40pm*
Btw, so that everyone knows, I'm getting real fat. I had to go pants shopping last weekend cos I can't wear most of my jeans now. I am horrified with my body. For all my 22 years of life, I have never seen it grow like that. To my body: You'd better have some boobs in store for me if you insist on expanding like this. Nothing beats being flat and fat at the same time.

My hips are growing and growing. I can finally use the word bootylicious on myself. Haha! Just need to do something about my bloated tummy and I'm set. Then I'll have hips and hopefully tits to go soon enough :P I'm talking about my body as if I could slap on a piece of flesh here and there and make it stick. Hehe!

It was culture shock to go pants shopping. Most of my pants I have worn since Form3 and I probably only buy a pair every year. Some years I even skip. So far I've bought 2 pairs of linen pants (black with stripes from Soda and baby blue from Giordano - pics later), for work, and a nice white cotton skirt. I make it a point to look fashionable at work. Need to keep up my fluffy, airy image.

I think I've touched the 50kg mark. It just gets scarier. Diet time!!!!

Sunday, October 09, 2005

Pardonnez-moi! I have no life now...

Yes... Ich habe kein Leben. I'm even mixing up my languages now. Omo!

I had a horribly hectic week at work. 2 nights of OT in a row. Half a day of medical leave. And my gastric problems have made a comeback. I'm over-worked and depressed now. Trying to get a firm-footing in my shitload of work and then I have to deal with the Wicked Witch of the West's daily training on the company's screwed-up business system. Help!!!!

I can scream, I can cry, I can fake a suicide, but no one can get me out of this jam. No one can stick up to the wicked witch. Not even my boss. The work I can handle. It's the interruptions caused by the training that's suppressing my efforts. I'll just have to suck it up for another week and hope for the best. No matter what my mom says, I ain't gonna work for this sweathouse for more than 6 months. Unless it turns out not to be a sweathouse in the end :P

I don't hate my colleagues. We have some unfeeling people, some probably talk behind my back, but at least they make it a point to be nice upfront. That's all I ask for right now.

So I'll just retire for now. Don't be surprised if you don't hear from me for another month. I need that long to find a straw to clutch and hopefully, it's gonna keep me afloat or at least as a means to breathe while I'm submerged under this mess. Meanwhile, I'll listen to my sappy korean love songs and cry :"(

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Such is the life of a deflated pig...

I finally share a common lifestyle with my peers. Wake up, go to work, come home, go to sleep. Those who manage to go out and lim teh or visit their other half or bake a cake and play with their kids before sleeping... RESPECT.

I try to fit in some chatting and if possible, blogging, before I sleep. Can't even find the time to fill up a job application for another company before I go to sleep. Sommore... tomorrow night, I have a dinner to attend. This is too much for me. Can I just get married, have kids and stay home? :D

I never like to work late. Who does? Workaholics? If I get in the zone then I'll work and work. For now, I can only think of 6pm and dinner everyday. I don't want to have my life revolve around my work like my colleagues. Therefore, I am determined to change my job within this 3 months. Help!!!! Get me out of there!!! My colleagues work like there is no tomorrow. I wonder how their children feel. Most of them are women. And for now, I'd say all of them in my department are women. How would a little girl feel if every night, her mom only came home on time to kiss them good night. But then again, these days, kids probably sleep at 1am even on a school night. That's why some of them look liek they are malnourished and never seem to grow upwards or sideways.

There is so much to do and so much to grasp. I wonder how do they finally know about everything they're doing. They can name everything under their care without batting an eyelash. I believe that I will never be able to reach that level. I feel like a complete ditz. I make mistakes every damn day. It may seem nasty, but I hope the other new girl isn't progressing faster than me. Cos people expect more from me cos I've worked in this company before. So if she progresses faster, it'll really reflect badly on me. Then again, it's sometimes easier to learn when you're really fresh and new cos you don't have any old stubborn work habits from the past. Aight?

Me wants to sleep now. All those out there who get to sleep after 11pm. So happy for you... :(

Thursday, September 22, 2005

Kinda always knew you'd end-up my ex-boyfriend...

Wooooaaaahhh!!!

Ex-bfs suck. Suck, suck, suck... 'cept you Felancy. You didn't suck that much. You're actually tolerable now. Though you're still a pain 50% of the time. One thing I've just realised about guys. They smile and talk to you when actually they hate you or have no intention of being friends. Yep! I am now in a situation which people call having "shit where I eat". How did that happen? I dunno... if I knew, it wouldn't have happened.

I now work in the same company as an ex-bf of mine, with whom I had a not too pleasant breakup. Used to work with him in the same dept during training. On my last day of training, he smiled and waved goodbye. Awww... but soon after, each time he says 'hi' to me, I feel kinda uncomfortable and sometimes annoyed. I started to ignore him and eventually did not talk to him for over a year. I thought when we broke up, we could be friends but realised I wasn't ready for that. So now that we have to work in the same company, I thought I'd be nice and acknowledge him and try to be a bit friendly. Yes, he replies when spoken to, but he did not reply any of my friendly emails asking about how he has been. Wassup with that? He said he was too busy. Busy my foot. I bet he forwarded lots of junkmail and replied some nonsense message from a friend today. So I don't buy the excuse of being too busy to reply me. If you are still pissed and can't forgive me, say so dammit!

I mean, my breakup with Felancy wasn't lovely either, I practically did the same thing to him (not talking for a year over) but we can meet up and talk like civilised humans. So wassup with this Shithead? What pisses me off is, he'd talk to this other guy colleague, whom he once told me had betrayed him, and he can't talk to me. For all I know, he actually hates this fella and yet he'd have friendly conversations with him but not me. He's practically running away from me. So what am I gonna do? From now on, we will only have a professional relationship. I will only talk to him about work related stuff. I will not ask him how he's feeling or give a shit if I dump truckloads of work on him. I will no longer feel sorry for him. To think I actually agonised over how to approach him cos I wanted to make peace. So much for peace. Men can be such bitches!! Even a guy colleague of mine commented that Shithead here is not being sporting or gentlemanly. So there! I'm better off now. Eat my dust! :P

P.S. My work still sucks...

Monday, September 19, 2005

I knew it'd suck, but didn't know that it'd suck so bad...

Yes... First day of work sucked. I shouldn't even use the word 'work'. Cos I did nothing of the sort today.

8am to 9.30am: Waiting for instructions from HR lady.

9.30am to 12pm: Waited at clinic for medical checkup.

1.30pm to 2pm: More waiting...

2pm to 3pm: More waiting...

3pm to 6pm: HR lady gives us briefing on company policy and employess benefits and all the blah stuff. In between she runs off for 20 mins intervals.

The only time I had fun was going for lunch with mein Mann and visiting my friend Chikin at the MIS dept. I know I'm a pain, Chikin. But at least I'm not such a pain to look at ;) You said so yourself!! :)

The bad news is that I HAVE to attend the stupid training. But at least this time there is a girl to accompany me. Plus! She appreciates my jokes. A rarity among humans. Hehe! Meanwhile, I'm beginning to get vibes that the Material Manager hates me. I felt really hot and I was sweating (so the heat wasn't my imagination). I took off my jacket and he caught a glimpse of my bareback. It wasn't even halfway down, just a third of my back. He called the HR lady to tell her to warn me or something. Ouch! Tell me yourself lah, MISTER!!! :P Nasty people!

Btw, I also suspect that they didn't really want to hire me cos I didn't promise to move to the new plant located in Pelabuhan Tanjung Pelepas (PTP), some ulu area in Johor. Johor is evil, dangerous... sin city. My family doesn't like the idea. So I'll probably be expecting nasty treatment during my 3 months there. I DON'T WANT TO WORK THERE!!!! GET ME OUT!!! *sobs*

Sunday, September 18, 2005

Off to the slaughterhouse...

I am finally joining the workforce... On Monday, 19th September, 2005, I shall no longer be jobless, useless, meaningless and whatever -less that comes with not having a job. I should be happy, right? But I'm less than ecstatic. Here are a few reasons:

1. Don't like the company
I think this is the stingiest of companies and they have the lousiest of employee benefits and don't let me get started on the rules they impose on us. It's like a factory cum school. I may have to attend some 4-day training before I officially start work. I'm gonna request for an exemption. I took the training last year!!!

2. Don't like the people (Part I)
The "higher" superiors are very condescending, sarcastic and just plain unpleasant to people whom they don't particularly like. Yes, you'll say that most superiors are like that, some worse. But this company has a majority of superiors of this breed. Wassup with that? Hire happy people, will ya? :P

3. Don't like the people (Part II)
There are perverts, bums, bitches, gossips, snides... all sorts of bad character you can think of. People will talk behind your back, a lot, and some even have "golden fingers". To those who don't know Chinese, it means back-stabbers. Just can't stand people like that. If you are capable, you don't need to make sure anyone you can stab in the back gets a good stabbing. Just do your job and get on with life. And there are people who always look like they have nothing to do. You often wonder what they're hired for. They're certainly going to gossip about me a lot, since I've worked there like twice. Temp-ed there before MMU and internship there during MMU.

4. Low pay
Soooo low pay. I can get better elsewhere. Just that elsewhere has no vacancies. So I am waiting, waiting and waiting. As soon as there is an opening, I am jumping off this train to the shithole.

5. The job is gonna be hell
Many people left recently (get my point about the company being sucky?), so when I get in, I'll be covering the work of many of these people. I just hope I don't need to work overtime cos I don't think I am getting paid for it. What's more, what do I know? I'll be a newbie at everything. I just hope they have the sense not to give me more than I can handle. In the meantime, I have to remind myself, "You are paid to do this job, so do it!!" But that doesn't mean I'm gonna do stuff that people push to be when it's their job. These people better grow that part of the brain right. I am not tolerating this kinda bullying I've had enough of it the last time round.

So meanwhile, I'm wondering: What will I wear tomorrow? Do I look fat? Are people going to talk about my getting fatter? What will I wear tomorrow? What's for breakfast tomorrow? Will I be able to wake up tomorrow? What shall I buy with my first month's salary? Epilator? What will I wear tomorrow?

Anyone care to provide some answers?

P.S. I was hired on the same day they interviewed me. Hired on contract basis, renewable every 3 months, cos I refuse to promise to go to Johor with them :P

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Eeeks!!!

Okay... nothing much to write about. Just want to complain about the good fortune of others.



Do you think that if I had bigger boobs, I'd be a winner like Jamie Pang? I ask you... what is so darn special about her that she can have a winning streak like that. First that Cleo magazine model search thingie, then Miss MMU 2004 and now, Miss Malaysia-Earth 2005. Come to think of it, her face kinda reminds me of my friend, greybunny. The only difference is that her boobs have to be substantially bigger. I've never seen a flat-chested beauty queen. So if I had bigger boobs, would I have a shot at winning? Haha!

Not to mention, the nasty things I hear about Jamie. "Jamie is a diva, doesn't attend rehearsals. Jamie is snobbish." Bla bla bla... If a person has such bad character, why are they having such good fortune?? I mean, is it because I'm not bad and not good so I never get anything. Do I have to be a nasty bitch (with substantial cleavage) in order for the world to worship me? And why is it that the world never sees a person for who they really are. Whether nasty bitch or nice, intelligent girl. By the way, Miss Earth's cause is environmental preservation. You know, forests, animals, pollution problem, the whole Earth. I would bet that Jamie doesn't know anything or possible even cares about environmental preservation. Who's with me?!!

Having said all that, any comment? Am I a nasty bitch too? Maybe it doesn't work for me. You have to be born with a sweet face to be able to become a successful nasty bitch. If you look so-so, you'll have nothing much to gain. Innit so?

Monday, September 05, 2005

Jitter, jitter, jitters...

Me has got an interview on Wednesday. I even know the fella interviewing me. Shy lah! And I'm hoping I get a position with another company rather than this. I've been in this company like twice already. Hmm... Are people gonna welcome me with open arms? :( Sad...

But anyway now, enjoy my new clothes. I bought this outfit from the new shop that replaced World of Cartoon in MP. Hehe!



Top, ebase: RM43.00 (10% off)


Bottom, S&K: RM79 (20% off)

Total: RM 101.90 (Ouch!!!)
Nice? :P

Sunday, August 28, 2005

Argento del Perlini, il mio amore e la mia passione

People wonder why I spend so much money on silver. Just look at this heart. Isn't it a work of art? It's a pendant. That's one of the reasons I'm a Perlini's Silver fan.

I also bought the necklace below. Starting to regret not buying the matching earrings. Maybe I should. Hehe!

Yes, the silver will tarnish as years go by. Silver has no resale value. But I love having my pick of accessories to display on me whenever I leave home. I also bought this string of silver that's smooth and it's half silver coloured and half black coloured. Sounds cool? Yep! It is cool. But I can't seem to photograph it properly. So you won't get to see it. What's more, I think it's last season's or something cos I can't find it on the site.

I love novel or cute accessories. Like my piggie on a pink rubber string. Even Kat can't resist it, right Kat? I just feel that my accessories, like my clothes, helps define my personality to others.

So what kind of a person do you think I am? :)

Saturday, August 27, 2005

bYs ThE wAyS...

Me had manicure today. Below is product of nail art.







Nice or not?

Friday, August 26, 2005

Ooo! New toilet!

Hello! I’m writing with Blogger for MS Word. It’s an add-in for Microsoft Word where you can type, see all your grammar mistakes and correct them before you publish the post and make an utter fool of yourself in cyberspace. Nifty, eh?

Ok… what are we gonna write about today. I had it awhile ago, but I don’t remember now. Was it about my mother again? Maybe, I am kinda pissed with my mom but I am not in the mood to bitch. Was it about my boyfriend? Hmm… Nope! Don’t wash dirty linen in public…

Anyway, I’m drifting now, while waiting for the world to come and fall at my feet with job offers. So don’t you guys worry about me. Besides, I’ve found a part-time job. I’m selling computer hardware. Yes! PCs, laptops, modems, ram, graphic cards, LCD screens, you name it, we have it. The branded brands we have are Samsung, LG, HP-Compaq, Acer, Toshiba… I have no IBM. Haha! If you don’t mind the generic brands, please say so. Hehe! Just drop me a mail with your inquiries or maybe post a little something here and I will check it out for you. Don’t be shy ya! My job is commission based. So you must help me. I need money. Haha! How else am I gonna pay for all the facials and manicures and massages and SPA treatments that keep me looking as gorgeous as I am ;)

As confirmation to those out there:
Me no go Germany! Me stay in Malaysia.

I bought lots of jewelry from Perlini while I was in Singapore. I am their loyal customer. Despite the lack of resale value for their products. Next time I take picture and show you ya? Hehe! For now, I shall put up a graduation pic. Yes… very belated. But I was looking at everyone’s blog and and Friendster accounts and I realize everyone is doing it. Being the sheep I am, I must follow. Hehe! So here it is!!

(image placeholder)

*edit*
The blog loaded from MS Word to blogger.com quickly enough. But they can't post images yet. Just thought you'd like to know. So I have to edit and post myself. Hai....

Thursday, August 25, 2005

One True Beng...

Hello! I've just read Kat's post on how to add some Beng-factor into your blogs. Well... I think hers wasn't that successful, cos as Elaine noted, Kat can't disguise herself. So step back! And let the chameleon show you how it's done. Hehe!

Warning: Use di lu kah ki eh risk

1. When lu eh colleague asks lu to file document...
Beng-ism: "Lim peh ani hensem, mana eh sai do paperwork"

2. When lu eh taukeh asks lu to do the impossible[simi sai?](again)...
Beng-ism: "Lu siu limpeh si sin ah?"

3. When lu eh taukeh tak teok sai(stepped on poop ie. made mistake)...
Beng-ism: "Turns out lu eh best judgment boh kao lat. Limpeh tiam lu chi eh: next time, use limpeh wan"

4. When some siao lang been trying desperately to get lu eh attention...
Beng-ism: "You nge-nge lai, di-di lai, no use wan. Next time you want to get limpeh attention, wear something fun."

5. When lu eh colleague asks, "Lu si simi tai chi?"
Beng-ism: "Everyone knows limpeh simi tai lah. That lanjiao face simi tai is much more interesting."

But of course. I am not the true Beng. So any true Bengs out there, please do not hesitate to correct me :) I could be wrong. With all the trend evolving these days. Hehe! Anyway, here's the next section of my blog.

I dedicate this section to the cibai kia driving an Atos with number plate MBD 8***(I forgot the number, hehe!). That day, limpeh already signal and chup the parking already. You damn kaa si, never signal and wait there and take limpeh wan parking hor!! I horn you, you sommore act like you khua boh and park and walk away sommore. I remember your blue shirt, and your lampah face. Next time I see you, I will make sure you cannot see anything or I might "modify" your car for you. Kannineneh! Hope your lanjiao shrink and you grow a cibai!

Pardon the expletives. Hehe! Was really pissed :)

Ooh! Btw, I finally watched Initial D. Jay Chou's acting sucked, compared to all the others. Even those who may not look the part of the real characters. But at least they got more acting skills. Jay Chou kayu lah! Anyways, main point... I'm suddenly in love with those Ah Beng cars I saw on Initial D. If I can afford them... someday... I'll buy one and be the envy of all Ah Bengs who drive modified Wira, Satria, Iswara (no offense to Koon), old Nissan, old Toyota, old Honda... hehe! They look so fast and fun! And I'm not gonna be playing some thumping techno, I'll play Tchaikovsky or Strauss when I'm driving. Muahaha! Eat that!

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Yes, I'm a liar...

I have nothing to write about myself today. But I do have an interesting mail I received from my aunt. Enjoy! And pass it along. Hehe!

Euro-English
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Ich vil blog tomorrow...

It iz heelefen forty vane pee-em. Me iz going to sleep. Me vill blog tomorrow. For now, pleeze henjoye zee azinine blogs i ave discovered for today...

Rockson aka Fictitious Beng
http://www.rockson.blogspot.com/
Intellectual masquerading as Ah Beng. Good Ah Beng vocab. But issues being discussed are too "cheem". That gave him away :P

Daniel aka Super Intellectual
http://anemptyroom.blogspot.com/
Ignore his June 13 post. You'd be shocked if you read that before reading his previous posts. The difference... he could've been on crack on June 13. I've not seen anyone write so perfectly, fully utilizing brain and vocabulary, in years. Maybe I've not been exploring enough. For a Singaporean and Beng-ish person to write like that, wundebar! :P

Gute Nacht!

Thursday, August 11, 2005

My mummy don't let me buy new bra...

Hello! Welcome to another episode of "Rantings of a Spoiled Brat". Today's topic is "My mother would not let me buy new bras".

Every time I spot a bra and wish to buy it, my mother would say that I have plenty, I should go home and count them and then tell her if I need another. Yes I do!! One should have an outfit for every occasion and therefore one should have a bra which fits certain outfits. Especially people with little boobs like me, we're always searching for good bras to make us look good and feel good because of our shortcoming in the department. I can proudly say that I have less than 15 bras. Out of which more than half are uitilized often. And you can't include those bras which were mistakes, outdated or ruined in the wash because my wonderful mother, who would not buy me bras, didn't put it in the bra bag before tossing it into the mouth of the washing monster.

And it's not like I never wear them. There are some bras that you do not wear every other day. Like that low-back bra that my mother was so opposed of when I bought it, even though I was paying with my own allowance. It finally came to good use during my graduation photoshoot cos I was wearing this low-back cheongsam. So you see, no bra ever goes to waste. It becomes useful in due time. So I spotted these lovely PC bras at MP today, which were my best cutting and they had transparent straps. That is such a find!! I was almost in tears when my mom said no. But I didn't want to be a brat so we walked away. But not before I gave her that withering look and she was like "Don't look at me like that." Why? Guilty? Guilty because you have 50 pairs of bras out of which 20 are lying there, decaying? She can get a new bra every sale season cos hers cost less than RM30 but I can't cos mine cost more than RM30. But it's not like I buy one every two months. I last bought a bra before Chinese New Year. That was so bloody long ago.

And the more I come to think of it, I find that I really doesn't have anything to do with bras. It has to do with anything I buy. Probably just the fact that I spend. And I am not allowed to spend. I can't get a new pair of shoes, a new bag, a new shirt (unless she brought it back from China), new jewellery or anything new for the matter of fact. I don't even dare to buy a better product from the brand of cosmetics I'm using for fear that she'll be on me like a vulture on a dying rodent. And now that my face is suffering, I still use the cheapest of the brand I'm using. yes, it's Lancome. But it's not doing anything for my face. And today, she goes to SKII and tries a new product. Life is so unfair. Yes, it's not my money, it's my dad's and as wife, she is entitled to first dibs. But what about me? I spend like Rm500 a month in Melaka while she gets to spend thousands in Suzhou. I eat all the normal food in Melaka while she gets gourmet in Suzhou. Yes, occasionally, I fork out a bit more for Coffee Bean or Pizza Hut or the rare dimsum buffet breakfast. She gets to eat food like that every week.

She comes home from Suzhou with new clothes, new bags, new sunglasses, new perfume etc. I get a few new shirts. That's not what I want. I don't really mind if I don't get presents when she come back. Maybe 1 shirt will do. I just want to be able to buy what I like when I feel I need it. I don't want her to breathe down my neck for every bra or bag or shoe I buy. Let me buy what I need. Don't buy stuff and push them on me and when I feel that I don't want them, start going on about how ungrateful I am. I never asked for those stuff. I just want freedom to choose what I want.

I'll be officially working next month. Hopefully then I will never have to listen to her nag about how I spend her money anymore. Good for her! More for her! :( I hope she'll be happier then. I'll never need to ask her for anything ever again. I bet she gets her thrills from turning me down everytime I ask for something. She probably feels that surge of authoritative high when she does it :P

Jim Carrey was CANADIAN???

I never knew Jim Carrey was Canadian until I watched Oprah today. Hmm... goes to show, America don't really grow their own talent. Hehe! Look at Arnold, he was Austrian. Hehe! With a pro-Nazi father to boot.

It's official! I'm no longer going to Germany. But the Senai thing is not 100% confirmed yet. In case some people dunno where Senai is, it's in Johor. Hopefully, my beloved can quit his job and join me there too cos the company is looking for new people to start up a new plant. Anyone interested? Hehe! But I've heard that Johor is dangerous these days. Apparently, they could really do with CSI there. But it's a risk I have to take. And the great thing is that it's so near Singapore. I can hop on a bus and go to Singapore every weekend. Shopping!!!! :)

Looks like my dad is not going to get me a new car to go with my new job :( I'm supposed to wait until I can afford one. In the mean time, I'll be using my mom's car. What car shall I buy? I've got my eye on the Ford RS. Or maybe those VW Beetle immitations from Suzuki or Toyota. What do you think? Someone suggested Vios. Erm... the last thing I want is a family car. I don't like those long, wide family cars like Vios, Cefiro, Sonata... etc. I want either cute, sporty or sleek and classy. Haii.... No car!!!

Anyway, this is the update so far. Apart from my mom nagging at me and wrongfully accusing me everyday, as usual, nothing is happening. Tune in for the final verdict on Senai. I hope that is soon.

Monday, August 08, 2005

Damn tired...

I'm really tired today, so I'll be brief...

Going to Germany:

Pros
1. Great exposure
2. Better pay when I come back
3. Better career when I come back

Conclusion: Better life with more money and less struggle

Cons
1. 3 and 1/2 months is not enough to learn what I need to learn. And it's in German. Worse! I'll end up with nothing.
2. I'll disappoint my dad and his friend and cause my dad to lose face.
3. I'll be very lonely and afraid there and suffer for 3 months.
4. I might even run home 1 month later, crying. That would lead to #2.
5. Since #1, there may be no impact on my career and I'd have wasted my time.
6. My dad needs to invest lots of money for me to get there and it'll be wasted.

Conclusion: No guarantee it'll turn out positively and in the process, I may be scarred.

I have a very interesting story to do with Con #4. There was a fella in my dad's company who was sent to Germany for 6 months training. He came back within a month, crying. A grown man. Maybe back then there was no internet. but still, it illutrates how difficult it is to be away from home. Especially for a person such as myself. I need family, I need love, 24/7.

If I don't try now, I may regret and blame myself for life. If I try but fail, can I blame others for the rest of my life?

So the question remains, to go, or not to go. I NEED FEEDBACK!!!

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

It's 7am!!!!!!!!

Yes. It's 7am and I am up. Yep! But yesterday, I actually went to bed at 7am. Why? My overactive imagination got the better of me, once again. I was thinking of what I'd do if my house were robbed. And I actually got pretty afraid that someone was really going to rob my house. This is the paranoid side of me few people know. Who would've guessed that the loud and bold me would be afraid. Hehe!

Btw, in reply to Anonymous' comment, I don't think that many people know how to admire and appreciate extroverts or even outgoing girls. Most of them probably think I'm crazy or irritating. In an Asian society, this is not positive attitude. Girls are allowed to speak these days - Halelujah! But we're frowned upon when we holler ;) No one ever thinks so positively of someone. Unless that person were beautiful, has a beautiful body, speaks in a sweet, beautiful voice and wears beautiful clothes all the time. And I think most people already have a person in mind when I say this. Hehe! But enough about personalities. It's nice to know that people actually read my blog. Not just open the page and glare for a few seconds and close the window.

I was so bored yesterday, that I tried this chat thing called IMVU. Anyone tried it yet? If you want to try it, tell me yah. I mail it to you. Then when you top up, I get 10000 pts to buy clothes. Muahaha! It's a chat in 3D. Your avatar sits in a coffee shop and talks, face to face, with another avatar. Usually with some random fella and usually, it'll be a 18 or 19 year old guy. What's with that? Did those guys added a preference when they signed up? "tick" [Meet older women.] I suppose it's the in thing now with Justin and Cameron, Ashton and Demi setting an example.

I'm just gonna go back to bed before I bore people. I am obviously not articulate at this hour of the day :P

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

X-tracts on Friday (11pm)

Nothing much to say today. But I did find this really nice link on my friend's site. It's called PostSecret. Do visit the site. You may never know that someone out there actually shares your secret. Not to say that this picture is my secret too ;) But who knows? Maybe when I'm 40 and have never had an orgasm, it might be. Hehe!

Was out the whole day with my mom and her classmates. It's nice to see that they're so close after more than 30 years of knowing each other. Sometimes I wish my friends and I will be the same. But it's a wish. One that can only be fulfilled if my friends aim to do the same thing. And if we don't get too lazy or too immersed with our lives in the future.

Our convocation is this Saturday, August 6-7. We'll be seeing lots of friends perhaps for the last time until the next 10 years or so. Hehe! We're hoping to get together a nice gathering at X-tracts on Friday night (5 August). For those who are ignorant, it's a pub opposite the Clock Tower aka red buildings, in Melaka. Try to be there by 11pm, for those who intend to come. Lets make it a night to remember for the next 10-20 years until we bump into each other in some mall with our children in tow. Hehe! Until then, lets go wild!!! :)

When I look back on my years in MMU, sometimes I feel that I've escaped a hell-hole. Yet, sometimes I look back on our escapades fondly. There were those times when I've acted like a retard, an asshole and sometimes, just plain stupid. And since I love beating myself up about stuff like that. They'll haunt me until I die. Just like my memories of the mistakes I made when I was 14. Or even when I was a kid. Some are secrets, some are known. Sometimes I wonder if the people involved remember that really stupid comment I made, or that really idiotic thing I did. It really eats me up inside to not know. Maybe if I ever get brave enough, I'd ask them... someday. Then I'd be wondering every damn day after whether or not they're laughing behind my back because I was so pathetic to bother to remember such a thing, or that I actually reminded them how lame I was in the past. It's a curse to be uncool, don't you think? Hehe!

And whether or not I've been the cool gal, or the uncool smarty-pants geek, the ugly, skinny cow or even the beautiful girl, I will always feel inadequate. Why? Because I will never know what people really thought of me. Cos, you know, who would tell? :P

Saturday, July 30, 2005

Maybe they don't want me :D

It's been erm.... more than 2 days since I mailed Germany. Still no news. Hey! Maybe they don't want me!! Think so? I'm a little tired of waiting for their reply and I'm really not interested in going anymore. I think i'll just go to Suzhou or Singapore where I suppose it'll be more fun.

It is so boring in Melaka. So boring that I have nothing to write about. I'm even sick of complaining about my Mom. What shall I do then? I scoured the internet for funny commercials to watch yesterday. The best one I've seen is the spoof of Paris Hilton's Carls Jr commercial. It was a fat, hairy and bearded guy in the same black, skin-tight swimsuit with the black car and the juicy burger. But he did it so beautifully. You've gotta watch it... www.spicyparis.com ;) Watch Paris' commercial, then watch the guy's commercial. Hehe!

Gonna run off to shower now. No peeking! :P I know the lizard ogling at me the other day was a spycam! So whoever you are, stop it! :P

Thursday, July 28, 2005

Whooops! *more sheepish than yesterday*

In reference to my last blog: I just found out that the calls and sms I made amounted to more than RM250. Whooops! Big boo boo! No wonder my mom was livid. And she was going on and on about how we spend money like water, blablabla...

I wouldn't blame her for scolding me for the bill. I just don't see how this has to do with the way I spend money??? I just happened to get carried away with the calls and the sms. I didn't see them as cost/money. I saw them as calls or sms, until I saw the bill. And usually, I wouldn't make that many calls and sms. It was an honest mistake :P Everyone out there, just so you know, it costs a bomb to sms and make calls in China and Hong Kong. In Hong Kong, you should use Sunday as the operator, not Smartone. Sunday's roaming sms are cheaper. I wrote my dad a mail to tell him how sorry I am. I hope that he's not going come back to Melaka and still shout at me. Over cyberspace is enough.

Finally sent my dad's Ford for servicing. Probably going to take the whole day. So bored... :P Should be receiving news about Germany today. Sometimes, I hope that I don't have to go. Things would be so simple then. I'll just have to go to Singapore or China and get a job and settle down to the mundane life that I hope for. But then, I'd have to slog for 10 years before I get to be a big-shot director or manager. So... to go, or not to go...

When I was in Singapore for the past 2 weeks, I'd pass by these lovely apartments on the way home everyday. Makes me wish I could own or rent one when I work in Singapore. But the only way to make it easier to own or rent one would be to go to Germany first. What a painful dilemma... I dream about renting a nice 3 room apartment and living in it with my beloved and my sister and we'd have a little Shih Tzu. Isn't that a beautiful dream? Young professionals living in style. Hai... I'm gonna go finish up Feeding Frenzy now. Takes my mind off the dreams.

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

I got carried away... *sheepish*

My mom just stumbled upon the phone bill for when I was in China. I think I made almost RM100 worth of sms. I just made a polite apology and scuttled upstairs instead of trying to argue about it. Hehe! Aren't I diplomatic? Just brought my bitch home from my cousin's. She's filthy and balding. I dunno if it's because she's dehydrated, something wrong with her diet, or my cousin didn't rinse off her shampoo properly. I just hope her hair grows soon. An aging Shih Tzu is not a pleasant sight.

So tired today. Went to bed around 1-2am and woke up at 11am. My mom seems to think that having enough hours on the bed means that there is no reason to feel tired. Wrong!! What if you didn't sleep well? Adults are so inconsiderate. Having superhuman strength, which enables you to sleep at 2am and rise at 7am, doesn't mean you can gloat at the lesser people. I probably have to wake up again tomorrow cos I need to send my dad's beat-up Ford to the mechanic for a pick-me-up session.

I had a facial today. Yay! And I got the RM50 for it from my mom!! Double yay!! Yes, I'm a leech of a brat, sucking cash off my parents. I'm jobless. Don't blame me! This is my 2nd session with Gigi. Do they actually have a ceremony of christening these facial people with names like that as part of their initiation into the field of beauty consultancy? I went back to her cos I saw improvement with my face, ie. less zits, the last time I went there. And she was the first person who was able to give me an effective solution to my zits, which by the way, were blackheads/oil seeds, not zits, because I'm too old to be having zits. Her solution was that I stop using moisturisers for awhile because they make my skin more oily and aggravate my pores, clog them up and voila! I get blackheads / oil seeds.

Of course my mom was ready to say that the place didn't look professional, yadayadayada... Who cares? As long as she fixes my face. The first time I did the RM80 seaweed mask. This time I thought I'd go with the normal one. She really took her time, picking out all my oil seeds. Feel so clean and beautiful now. :) Ain't I a pretty piggie? Hehehe! The only bummer is that I've got this little pimple/flesh thing under my eye that has to be zapped with a laser. I'll wait till it grows more and looks hideous, then I can talk my mom into letting me have it zapped. For now, I'm just gonna go lie on my bed, read a nice book and go to sleep early so that my facial session was not wasted. Btw, Gigi gave me a vial of antiseptic thingie that brings down swelling and redness from pinching zits and stuff. So nice of her. If my face improves further, I'll definitely go for the 3rd session :)

I love my face...

What to do today...

I'd love to bitch about my mom again and about how she kicked up a fuss about my new Esprit cardigan but lets not let me get carried away. Lets talk about my impending trip to Germany and what the future holds for me.

It just suddenly hit me that I will be going to Germany and be learning all there is to learn about SAP and do nothing but SAP for the rest of my life. Sure, I may become a successful system consultant and get filthy rich, but is that my lifelong dream? What about my dreams of becoming a dancer, a singer, a musician, song writer, script writer... blablabla...

When I finally told my dad how I felt that everything I've ever done in my life always felt half-done. And we had a long talk about all the stuff that I always wanted to do but never did. Then he asked, "Is it because we stopped you, or we didn't give you enough encouragement?" Good question. I thought for a moment and decided that it was 50-50. But anyways, my dad only arranged this for me so that I had a solid career to fall back on in the future. I understand that. Just that the process is not fun :P And my dad assured me that whatever path I choose, he will not object. As long as I've done this training and not make stupid decisions regarding my life ;)

My dad's word of wisdom today was to look at what you've achieved. Don't look at what you've missed. So I'll just hope that when I do that, I will have achieved a lot. Like my dad, I love being successful. I never do anything that doesn't come with a positive feeling that I'd be winning. But my dad took chances before, and he's successful now. So I suppose I have to learn to take chances, smart chances. Then maybe someday, I'll be successful and be able to do whatever I like to do. When the time comes, I hope I don't disappoint anyone, including myself.

Love you, dad! You've always inspired me to be the best I can be. And I love you, mein Mann! You've helped through all my sadness and insecurities and encouraged me to improve myself.

Thursday, July 21, 2005

Life is just peachy...

Today is a beautiful day. The sun is shining, the weather is cooling and I've just had lunch. Now's the perfect time to bitch about my mother!!!!

Who here wants to cork up their mother's mouth? Can I see a show of hands? Come on, don't be shy... In my opinion, only 1 out of a 100 or maybe a 1000 children have a wonderful relationship with their parents. No nagging, no disagreements, the generation gap issue is unheard of and never ever feeling unloved. That's the definition of a perfect parent-child relationship. I'm definitely part of the other 99 or 999. Why me????

Some people who only witness the surface of my life, the shell of my home and my mother's hip disposition towards outsiders would probably be saying that I'm an ungrateful brat, I should be struck by lightning, or that I don't deserve my wonderful parents. I wouldn't argue that I'm blessed with almost all my material needs. My dad's fine. Don't really have any complaints about him. It's my mom that drives me nuts. 1 reason would be that we have about the same kind of negative personality traits: naggy, picky, foul-tempered, self-centered, touchy, paranoid and loads more traits you can think a woman would posess. The only difference between us is that I am less harsh and that I acknowledge other people's feelings.

With my mom, I think these are the few things she always keeps in mind:

1. I'm the most self-sacrificing person in the world
2. I don't have a temper
3. My daughters are avoiding me on purpose (well, we do, sometimes. can't blame us)
4. My daughters need me to nag at them constantly
5. My daugters only come to me because they need food, money etc.
6. No one feels as vulnerable as I do
7. No one suffers from breakdowns and depression like I do
8. I'm the most tolerant person in the world
9. I never expect anything from others
10. Maybe I do expect something from others but it's miniscule compared to what I've done for them
11. I am such an easygoing person. Anyone would love living with me.
12. I have very little handbags and purses
13. I have so little clothes in my wardrobe
14. Piggie needs guidance. Cue nagging, scolding, shouting. Repeat until she retaliates (so fun!!!)
15. Piggie just cries cos she hasn't matured. More nagging, scolding and shouting until she never ever cries anymore
16. Piggie is eating far too much. She went from 44kg to 47kg. Nevermind if she's underweight, tell her she's fat and lazy and she needs to diet and exercise until she's grossly underweight again (then I won't need to invest in a new wardrobe for her)
17. Piggie is spending almost as much as me. Stop her!
18. Why are my daughters such brats?

The list can go on and on and you'd be shocked. Compared to my cousins, I'd say my sister and I are saints. So why is my mom so unhappy with us? Ask her!!! Anything I do just doesn't cut it. Shall I tell you what happened last night??

It was 12am. I have to get up at 7am tomorrow (not that it ever crossed her mind). I was tired because of this routine and because I never take afternoon naps. My head has been feeling heavy since 5pm. I was finally lying on the bed, breathing a sigh of relief to be able to rest when she started hollering for me from the study. She wouldn't tell me why I needed to go to her. Just kept calling and calling. I kept refusing and explaining that I was dead tired. Finally she got angry and started spouting stuff about her having to respond to our needs always and yet we never do when she needs us. Then after 5 mins of listening to her crap out loud with my sister (both of them seemed to have pins up their butts last night), I gave up and went to the study. Guess what she said? "Now only come. No need already lah!" Then she continued to nag despite having seen my pained look from lack of rest.

Today, I came home from a drink with my friend. I was a bit late for lunch. She immediately said that I probably had lunch. I said I didn't and she still insisted that I did. Then when I told her I bought some goodies for her, she responded "Oh, you buy me food cos you made me angry and you want to appease me issit?" Bla, bla, bla... "I always have do stuff for you, you NEVER do anything for me" bla, bla, bla... It never crossed my mind that the food was to make her happy. I was only thinking of my breakfast tomorrow and that I should also include the other people in the household if I were buying food. Then when I asked her if there was soup for dinner tonight, she had to say "You only come to your mother when you need food." What gives???!!!! What's your problem??? Can't you ever try to forget something ever happened? I've done lots of stuff but you never remember them!!!! You only remember my mistakes!!! Or what you consider to be mistakes.

My mom constantly reduces me to tears. When she sees the tears, she'd say I was trying to invoke pity. She never acknowledges that I feel hurt. She can never hear out my feelings. She'd always respond:

1. Are you telling me how to be a mother?!!!!
2. Don't you dare teach me what to do!!!
3. Do you want a slap? How dare you talk like that to me?!!
4. Cry, cry, cry. Only know how to cry. Everytime scold you, you cry.

I've never heard responses like, "You really think so? Maybe if we..." or "I'm so sorry you feel that way. I was only trying to...".
I think television has fed us with dreams of parents who listen. It's just plain abnormal in Asia. Parents rule in Asia. We children have no say. They will never "understand". Not someday, not finally, not ever like those parents on tv who misjudge their children and then "realise" in the end how wrong they were.

I can only conclude that the more my mother treats me this way, the sooner she'll drive me away. Then "finally" she will wonder, why would no one ever argue with her anymore. She'd be lonely and bored but she will never understand why. Everyone constantly tells me, "That's just your mother, what can you do?" I suppose they're right. What can I do? :(

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Ich liebe kaufen!!!!

For the non-Germans out there. It means: I love shopping!!! Who doesn't? Hmm... I suppose misers don't, anal people don't and erm... what's the word for people who are afraid of germs and dirt? I dunno. Whatever they are, only these minority hate shopping. In general, people love to shop. How did I know that I was a shopaholic? Firstly, I'd like to establish that I'm a minor case. I'm not maxing-out credit cards or eating porridge at the end of every month because I spent all my money on a handbag... yet.

I realized this depressing fact when I was in Hong Kong. I just kept on buying, kept on buying... And it wasn't just stuff for myself. More than 50% we stuff for other people. My bf, my family, my sister... I came to the conclusion that I just happen to love spending money. When I came back to Malaysia. I more or less curbed it a little but still couldn't really stop it. Most of my money were thrown into nice food and pedicures. Sick, eh? People wonder why I spend such an obscene amount of money for a pedicure. Well, it's addictive. So I think it's worth it. Until I hand over the money to the cashier. So I'm basically a guilt ridden shopaholic. I always feel bad after my splurges.

You may think I was born that way. I'd like to blame it on genetics to, since my mother and aunts are also shopaholics, but I'd have to admit that I wasn't always like that. So why can't I stop myself now? I was always careful with money. In scondary school, I get $50 a month while my classmates get $200 or more every month. And when they complain that it's not enough, I'd roll my eyes and scorn them. Now, people roll their eyes at me. So how did I manage back then. I redeem myself? Can this condition be cured. Here are the few things I did back then and some stuff I read somewhere. Maybe it'll help me now to be reminded of them and of course, to those out there who recognise their weakness and want to be rid of it.

1. Carry the bare minimum amount of cash
It used to work. I'd only carry $5 to school everyday. But these days, you never know when you'll need some quick cash. Credit cards are useful, but make sure you remember to only use it for emergencies i.e. petrol, pain killers, tampons or condoms ;) A Gucci sale is not an emergency.

2. Never ever borrow money
I used to never borrow money. No matter how desperate. So if I had no money, I wouldn't buy anything. Once you get it in your mind that you can always get some from a friend and pay her tomorrow, you'll never see the end of it. Trust me. I've been there. Sad to say, I learnt how to borrown money. So I'm kinda doomed. But I've (almost) stopped now. Good thing, eh?

3. Leave your credit cards/atm cards at home
Unless you are sure you never touch those cards and only use cash, you need this one. Only carry cash. That way, you'd control yourself and not let your cash run out when you're out. Credit cards are useful for paying bills. I think everyone should have one. But make sure that: that's all you use it for, you pay the bills on time (to avoid extra charges) and that you keep track of your spending (so that you never forget that the credit card fees you owe need to be deducted from your total amount of income every month).

4. Keep records of your expenditure
This is useful for people with conscience. Those who lack conscience, you can forget it. Why? When you see all the stuff you've bought and the amount of money you've spent, it might shock you enough to cure you. And you'll be able to see what was necessary and what wasn't so that you will not repeat the mistake. Planning how to spend your money every month is also a good way to curb spending. But don't just have it in mind. Put it to paper. I'm gonna do that as soon as I start working. Hehe!

5. Stay away from shops
Only go shopping to get food and necessary stuff. Don't spend your weekends or holidays loitering around malls and shops, especially during sale season.

6. Get an endowment policy (idea courtesy of my aunt)
Whatever it's called. I forget what's it really called. But anyway, it's like a savings account with more benefits. Every month, you pay the insurance company some money, then maybe in 10-20 years time, you'll get a sum of money from it. Then if you want to go wild, go ahead. Hehe! But having to pay the insurance company money means that you have less to spend every month. And the good thing is you'll get back your money someday (unless you die before then, haha!). Just make sure you get a good policy from a reputable agent. Also, make sure you can afford it. No point paying all that money and eating grass every month.

Achtung!! Some people can't go cold turkey. It's like saying that you're not going to have that nice creamy baked potato with bacon and cream and still scoffing it down in the next 5 mins. DO it slowly. I suggest starting with steps 4, 3 & 2. So I've outlined all the solutions that I know. I'll just pick a few and get started. Meanwhile, I'll have one last fling with Orchard Road this weekend before I go cold turkey. Hehe!

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Such gusto?!!

I always begin my writing with such gusto. But as I trudge on, I find my "gusto" waning. Why is that? Have I lost my touch? I used to have "Good job!" or "Well done!" on my English essays. My teachers often praised me for my creative and descriptive use of English, they remembered me as the one who argued for marks because they marked an alternative for an answer, which I have given, as incorrect, the one with the clever, snide comments and yet... now I find myself speechless. I can't carry a conversation without making little mistakes here and there (i noticed) and sometimes, even making myself incoherent. Have I mellowed somehow, as I've concluded. Or have I become lazy, as a friend of mine, Arj, pointed out.

Well, Arj said that I was too young to have mellowed. I beg to differ. I am such a mellow person. One who had began to mellow since I was 18/19. Friends who know me better would tell you that I am sooo mellow albeit the few times a year that I would go dancing at some pub and go bonkers. Now that, is another story to tell. I've always surprised people when I go "clubbing". I arrive at said pub/club, if there are people dancing or there's a fun atmosphere, I just get right to it and shake it. Most people need a little nudge from alcohol to get them moving. But me? Never... I drink nothing but water (which probably costs more than beer. Unless you ordered a bottle, then it would be free). People tend to think I'm really drunk but lying about it until someone confirms that I've had nothing but water and nicotine+oxygen=air(in the pub). I suppose most people would prefer to be drunk so if they did something really spastic, they could blame it on alcohol. I am very proud of the fact that I can have fun without alcohol, smoking or drugs. I'm always on a natural high. And fyi, lots of water would be useful when you're sweating like a pig ;)

Anyway, lets talk about the mellow me again. Since I started dating seriously, as in when I date the guy I really think about it as a long term thing, I preferred to stay home, lounge around, do nothing, watch VCDs, basically just chilling. Some people and even some of those boyfriends found that aspect of me dull. I suppose that it's because they're not ready to set their asses down and just enjoy some private moments together. Some quiet moments of doing nothing but enjoying the comfort of togetherness. They still love to hang around at malls, catch a movie, etc. I'm still a shopaholic (that'll be a subject for my next post). I occasionally attack malls and sadly, my own pockets. But having mellowed is a part of me which means that I feel that I've had it with the buzzing-around-and-doing-everything-under-the-sun kinda life. I'm so glad my current bf approximates me on the mellow scale and that he understands what it's about. And what's more, staying home means spending less. A plus for the pockets for sure. I just feel that it's a sign of maturity and readiness to settle down, a rarity among people these days. My mom thinks it's antisocial of me not to want to go out with friends. I do meet them sometimes. I do have close friends. So I am not antisocial. Antisocial is the word for describing hermits. And I'm no hermit.

So anyway, am I boring anyone yet? If I am, then I can sadly say that I've indeed lost my touch. Or maybe it's just because I have nothing interesting to write about. Since I lead such a mellow life :P

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Wie Gehts?!!!

Halo! Mein name ist Schwein, Hübsch Schwein. Ich komme aus Malaysia. Malaysia liegt in Südostasien.

Ok! Enough of German. I'm not German. I just happened to be taking a German class. Why? My parents want to send me far, far away to Germany for SAP training. Cos according to them, I'd be earning big bucks after undergoing this training.

I really don't feel like going cos
1. I hate being alone (especially in a foreign place)
2. I hate cold weather
3. I'll miss home
4. Most of all, I'll miss my boyfriend /almost husband

People, well, lots of people, say to me "You're only 22 and you're thinking of getting married?!. Well, not now. But in the near future. I don't want to have kids when I'm in my mid-thirties. I wanna be a young, hip mom. Like Britney, or maybe Angelina Jolie. Hehe! I wish I had her boobs. Haha! So I hope to get married by the time I'm 27. Now, I'll just sit and wait for the plane ticket to be thrown onto my lap. Then i'll accept it and make a move :P