Thursday, February 23, 2006

Abs!! Here I come!!!

At last!!! I have the key to reclaiming my flat tummy!! I really hope it works. Though I read this little sort of disclaimer in the little paper that comes in the box and it said, "It's no secret... to maintain a firm stomach all year round, you must also exercise, eat well and live healthy... and we encourage you to do so.". What the??!!! I bought this product with the illusion that I didn't have to sweat to get slim... and it better do that for me cos if I still need to exercise, I sure as hell don't need this product. Hmmmph!!

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Word Up to Fluffy!

A little encouragement for Fluffy, my sister. Go ahead and take the job and try your best. If you succeed, just as what your lecturer had predicted, you’d have proven that you have the gift to be great and it will be a shiny little badge you can pin to your shoulder.

Don’t be daunted, like the way I am a lot of the times. You could regret you didn’t just go ahead and take a whack at it. You won’t know if you could crack it if you don’t whack it! Hehe! So lame!

Poor Little Sick Girl (It's My Time to Whine)

It be 6pm and I be using da MS Word blogging tool cos da dam Streamyx ain’t movin smoothly.

I am home today cos I had to see the Gastrologist about mein gastric problem. I was just told by my dearest WeeWee that I actually diagnosed myself rather than the doctor. I pretty much told the doctor what was wrong with me and I had an explanation for him for all my conditions. Well, I felt that I said all those stuff and felt I had to explain myself as I was waiting to be contradicted by the doctor. Then, I would know if something else, other than the condition I know I am in, is going on with my body. Anyway, he gave me 2 days MC and gave me 2 kinds of pills. Thank you for the 2 days of MC, but I don’t think the 2 kinds of pills would help unless they were magic pills. Nevertheless, let’s put them to the test. If I am rolling around in pain tomorrow morning, I will know that his medicine doesn’t work and the 2nd day MC was all part of his plan. Though he said that IF I was still not OK, I was to go back and see him, I think he has it all planned out for me to see him next week. He only gave me 1 week’s supply of pills. He better not tell me he wants to do a scope. I find it so intrusive and gross.

Meanwhile, I’m being a spoilt little girl with my grandma back in Melaka to take care of me. What can I say? I need the essential nutrients a sick person would require to get strong and healthy, home-cooked meals. Another plus would be that my grandma always hangs and collects the laundry. Hehe! When I feel a bit guilty, I’d help her. But I think she needs something to do to pass her days, so I let her do it. I take care of general cleaning such as dish washing, vacuuming and mopping the floor and washing my bathroom. Don’t forget, I bathe Mimi!!

I still can’t get the image of that fella at the vet’s cutting her nails. He was cutting like nobody’s business. I doubt he even checked before he cut. He made her bleed a little. I am so freaked out about her getting hurt from getting her nails cut. I really am. I shudder at the thought cos I think I almost cut her once. I did a whole round of cutting for her nails and decided that 1 of them was still too long. She has these blackened nails that are kinda hard to see where the vein are.. as I attempted to cut it, almost cutting into the nail, she sort of squealed and whimpered and pulled her paw away, so I stopped. Up till today, I suspect she was bluffing, but I wasn’t one who was gonna cause any bloodshed, so I developed this phobia of cutting her nails. I tried again last month and she did the squeal and whimper and I was pretty sure I was nowhere near cutting her vein, but I was just so traumatized by the last incident, so I kinda developed a phobia. From then on, I’ve decided that I shall let the vet deal with her. It’s only RM5; small price to pay to prevent the heartache. But seeing her getting her nails cut that day also caused heartache cos I was afraid that they wouldn’t be so kind with her. I dunno. End of the day, she needs to get her nails cut, cos some of her nails grow in a curve and dig into her flesh (happened before) and her nails chip. In future, I will just dump her in the room with the vet and wait outside. I wonder what the pain feels like. Will it equal the pain of getting the tips of our fingers cut off? Eww… Still, I hurt for her.

My job is giving me so much grief now. I’d like to say that I am being fickle and I could be feeling the same 5 months into my next job, but there are ppl throwing the towel after only 2-3 months of the job. So there you have it, I am not abnormal. This is a tough job and it’s hard to hang on. I know many ppl hang on cos they have no better job to go to or they need the income. There are a sprinkle who actually got used to the life and are thriving in the shitload of shitty work this job entails. I, for one, am hanging on by a thread. I could snap any moment. This job has caused me stress, sleepless nights, unstable emotions and gastric. There are so many more conditions I have now that I can blame on this job. This is inhumane work. Call the SPCA!!! Hehe! I dunno. Some ppl just get by and ppl like me will dwell on the whole situation. I dread my job. I am screwing up a day at a time now that I have removed the emotional attachment to the job. Can’t say I’m much happier. But I am definitely not as stressed as I used to be. Though in the long run, I am not gonna be proud of myself when all of it ends. Cos I can’t say that I have given 100% to my job. What do you think? Personal achievement versus sanity…

Friday, February 10, 2006

Finally... My turn...

You would all wonder why I didn't blog during CNY like most ppl (except for The Mindless One), since I had oodles and oodles of time then. I think it's because they were too busy enjoying and most did not have internet access back in their kampung. Hehe!

Anyway, sad to say, not much hype this new year. I think it's because I've aged another year, I didn't party every night for days in a row this year. Also because I lacked the company to go party. So we only made it to Pure once this year. I think it is crap that they force ppl to pay cover charge to go upstairs and listen to their crappy Trance music. I just want to go sit in those round chairs but RM50 is just not worth it!!

The number of ang paos I got this year were sadder. I got like RM500 and my sister got RM700. How did she get so much?? I suppose it just proves that I am less social and that's what I get for making far less pilgrimages to ppl's houses during new year. At least the ang paos covered the pay I lost for taking 4 days of unpaid leave, which would cost me about RM80/day x 4 days = RM360. Ouch!! This is making me super depressed.

Anyway, I'm on Medical Leave today. Was also on Medical Leave yesterday. Caught the bloody flu bug and cos I was so blur yesterday, I forgot to take my panadols together with my flu pills and antibiotics, my fever shot up to 39.1 degrees. It wasn't until I realised and took 2 panadols with my medicine, coupled with "gua sa", courtesy of Geof, that it slowly dropped to 37.1 (measured at 4.30am). Thinking that 37.1 was ok, I didn't take my panadols this morning and woke up with my temperature up to 37.7. I think I better keep taking every single pill prescribed until I am totally back to normal. Stupid doctor only gave me an MC for 1 day, had to go back yesterday evening to get another MC for today. Luckily it was a different doctor, or he may not have given me another MC. So stingy!!

As if being sick is not depressing enough, I think the reason I am not getting better quickly is because I dread going back to work. I just feel that the company is falling apart. Most people in my department only do enough to get by everyday. They can't seem to finish up or do anything properly so as to ensure that they won't have to redo it. I am also utterly disgusted with my immediate superior and one of the leaders. They are always so eager to please the managers above them that they never defend us (the worker ants). One of the managers said that we were to have trainings on Thurs till Sat, knowing that we have to check our shortages from Wed till Friday and we can never finish in 1 day. When I brought that up, the leader said something like "Try to finish it today (Wednesday). You never try you won't know". @$^%%%$#, seriously, what the hell!! What have we all been doing but to try and finish our work within 1 day. Who would not love to finish their work in 1 day?? Who would not love to go home each day with that sense of contentment, knowing that all their work have been done. She totally made it look like I had not been trying my best all this while. After the meeting had ajourned, she started to grumble like I did. I only raised the obvious case and everyone knows that it's true that we are on tight schedules on Thursdays and Fridays. Rather than being our voice, she submitted to the manager's demands. Then why the hell was she made a leader??? Leaders are not sheep!!

Furthermore, Mr. 9 Stars has been harassing me on a daily basis for status that he can check himself in the system. There is an updated, online system for him to look at but noooo... he has to get me to report to him personally. He even told me that I've been working for 3 months and thus should not ask him obvious questions like "Are we still running backlogs?". Then, same to you, Mr. 9 Stars, you have working experience of more than 10 years, you should not need to get me to report status to you. You should be able to see it yourself if you are so bloody capable. On top of delivering the status, should I make you coffee as well??

JanJan is being very aloof these days. She doesn't have this friendly tone when she speaks to me these days and I think she doesn't give a shit that I'm on MC cos she probably doesn't believe I am really sick. She didn't bother to set the notification that I was on MC like she would for everyone else. Or maybe she was too busy to do it. I just feel that she is pissed with me for some reason. Maybe it's because I didn't go back to work on 2nd Feb like she asked me to. I had all the right as I already applied to leave and it was already approved. So if I didn't want to go back, she can't do a damn thing. On the other hand, she was already grumpy before CNY. So I'll just think of it as her being stressed and unable to be civilise with people (or just me).

I really do hope that they terminate me once my probation ends, or if they are giving me an increment of only 10% and below, I am definitely going to leave. I expect 15% or more because I know I am worth that amount. I always finish my tasks. I am most familiar with the system and process flows, compared to the other new buyers. I catch on faster than anyone. Therefore, I feel that I deserve more than a fresh graduate's pay or a miniscule increment. Then again, even if they give me an increment, are they going to expect that I work harder in proportion to that increment? They had better not be. Also, this company has seriously crappy medical benefits. I suppose that it all explains itself, a company which does not have world class HR policies would not attract & should not expect world class employees. In the meantime, I am on a lookout for a new job. Any recommendations?

*UPDATE @ 11:28PM*
I coughed up some phleghm and it had blood in it. Eww!! I'm gonna die!!!