What to do today...

I'd love to bitch about my mom again and about how she kicked up a fuss about my new Esprit cardigan but lets not let me get carried away. Lets talk about my impending trip to Germany and what the future holds for me.

It just suddenly hit me that I will be going to Germany and be learning all there is to learn about SAP and do nothing but SAP for the rest of my life. Sure, I may become a successful system consultant and get filthy rich, but is that my lifelong dream? What about my dreams of becoming a dancer, a singer, a musician, song writer, script writer... blablabla...

When I finally told my dad how I felt that everything I've ever done in my life always felt half-done. And we had a long talk about all the stuff that I always wanted to do but never did. Then he asked, "Is it because we stopped you, or we didn't give you enough encouragement?" Good question. I thought for a moment and decided that it was 50-50. But anyways, my dad only arranged this for me so that I had a solid career to fall back on in the future. I understand that. Just that the process is not fun :P And my dad assured me that whatever path I choose, he will not object. As long as I've done this training and not make stupid decisions regarding my life ;)

My dad's word of wisdom today was to look at what you've achieved. Don't look at what you've missed. So I'll just hope that when I do that, I will have achieved a lot. Like my dad, I love being successful. I never do anything that doesn't come with a positive feeling that I'd be winning. But my dad took chances before, and he's successful now. So I suppose I have to learn to take chances, smart chances. Then maybe someday, I'll be successful and be able to do whatever I like to do. When the time comes, I hope I don't disappoint anyone, including myself.

Love you, dad! You've always inspired me to be the best I can be. And I love you, mein Mann! You've helped through all my sadness and insecurities and encouraged me to improve myself.