Life is just peachy...

Today is a beautiful day. The sun is shining, the weather is cooling and I've just had lunch. Now's the perfect time to bitch about my mother!!!!

Who here wants to cork up their mother's mouth? Can I see a show of hands? Come on, don't be shy... In my opinion, only 1 out of a 100 or maybe a 1000 children have a wonderful relationship with their parents. No nagging, no disagreements, the generation gap issue is unheard of and never ever feeling unloved. That's the definition of a perfect parent-child relationship. I'm definitely part of the other 99 or 999. Why me????

Some people who only witness the surface of my life, the shell of my home and my mother's hip disposition towards outsiders would probably be saying that I'm an ungrateful brat, I should be struck by lightning, or that I don't deserve my wonderful parents. I wouldn't argue that I'm blessed with almost all my material needs. My dad's fine. Don't really have any complaints about him. It's my mom that drives me nuts. 1 reason would be that we have about the same kind of negative personality traits: naggy, picky, foul-tempered, self-centered, touchy, paranoid and loads more traits you can think a woman would posess. The only difference between us is that I am less harsh and that I acknowledge other people's feelings.

With my mom, I think these are the few things she always keeps in mind:

1. I'm the most self-sacrificing person in the world
2. I don't have a temper
3. My daughters are avoiding me on purpose (well, we do, sometimes. can't blame us)
4. My daughters need me to nag at them constantly
5. My daugters only come to me because they need food, money etc.
6. No one feels as vulnerable as I do
7. No one suffers from breakdowns and depression like I do
8. I'm the most tolerant person in the world
9. I never expect anything from others
10. Maybe I do expect something from others but it's miniscule compared to what I've done for them
11. I am such an easygoing person. Anyone would love living with me.
12. I have very little handbags and purses
13. I have so little clothes in my wardrobe
14. Piggie needs guidance. Cue nagging, scolding, shouting. Repeat until she retaliates (so fun!!!)
15. Piggie just cries cos she hasn't matured. More nagging, scolding and shouting until she never ever cries anymore
16. Piggie is eating far too much. She went from 44kg to 47kg. Nevermind if she's underweight, tell her she's fat and lazy and she needs to diet and exercise until she's grossly underweight again (then I won't need to invest in a new wardrobe for her)
17. Piggie is spending almost as much as me. Stop her!
18. Why are my daughters such brats?

The list can go on and on and you'd be shocked. Compared to my cousins, I'd say my sister and I are saints. So why is my mom so unhappy with us? Ask her!!! Anything I do just doesn't cut it. Shall I tell you what happened last night??

It was 12am. I have to get up at 7am tomorrow (not that it ever crossed her mind). I was tired because of this routine and because I never take afternoon naps. My head has been feeling heavy since 5pm. I was finally lying on the bed, breathing a sigh of relief to be able to rest when she started hollering for me from the study. She wouldn't tell me why I needed to go to her. Just kept calling and calling. I kept refusing and explaining that I was dead tired. Finally she got angry and started spouting stuff about her having to respond to our needs always and yet we never do when she needs us. Then after 5 mins of listening to her crap out loud with my sister (both of them seemed to have pins up their butts last night), I gave up and went to the study. Guess what she said? "Now only come. No need already lah!" Then she continued to nag despite having seen my pained look from lack of rest.

Today, I came home from a drink with my friend. I was a bit late for lunch. She immediately said that I probably had lunch. I said I didn't and she still insisted that I did. Then when I told her I bought some goodies for her, she responded "Oh, you buy me food cos you made me angry and you want to appease me issit?" Bla, bla, bla... "I always have do stuff for you, you NEVER do anything for me" bla, bla, bla... It never crossed my mind that the food was to make her happy. I was only thinking of my breakfast tomorrow and that I should also include the other people in the household if I were buying food. Then when I asked her if there was soup for dinner tonight, she had to say "You only come to your mother when you need food." What gives???!!!! What's your problem??? Can't you ever try to forget something ever happened? I've done lots of stuff but you never remember them!!!! You only remember my mistakes!!! Or what you consider to be mistakes.

My mom constantly reduces me to tears. When she sees the tears, she'd say I was trying to invoke pity. She never acknowledges that I feel hurt. She can never hear out my feelings. She'd always respond:

1. Are you telling me how to be a mother?!!!!
2. Don't you dare teach me what to do!!!
3. Do you want a slap? How dare you talk like that to me?!!
4. Cry, cry, cry. Only know how to cry. Everytime scold you, you cry.

I've never heard responses like, "You really think so? Maybe if we..." or "I'm so sorry you feel that way. I was only trying to...".
I think television has fed us with dreams of parents who listen. It's just plain abnormal in Asia. Parents rule in Asia. We children have no say. They will never "understand". Not someday, not finally, not ever like those parents on tv who misjudge their children and then "realise" in the end how wrong they were.

I can only conclude that the more my mother treats me this way, the sooner she'll drive me away. Then "finally" she will wonder, why would no one ever argue with her anymore. She'd be lonely and bored but she will never understand why. Everyone constantly tells me, "That's just your mother, what can you do?" I suppose they're right. What can I do? :(