Jammin' on New Year's Eve...

Jammin' as in my jammies (pajamas)... not jammin' with a band or something. Here I am, sitting in front of my PC, less than an hour away from the new year. Makes me wonder if I'm too immersed in my new lifestyle... writing, chatting, checking out TVXQ forum, work, sleep, eat... and the cycle repeats itself.

SM has accepted my 2nd application and I suspect that they'd not read through it, cos if they did, they'd realised that I've auditioned before and have told me outright to take a hike, or that they were interested in giving me a 2nd audition :P Damned Koreans... :P

My resolutions for 2007 (in no order of importance):
1. Get voice lessons
2. Get dance lessons
3. Keep my fiction going and continue to produce quality writing
4. Get signed by SM Entertainment <-- very important!
5. Save enough money to go to Korea with the girls from Asteria
6. Do my current job, as an EDM engineer, well

Most of all, wish me luck as I attempt the impossible... trying to get famous! Haha! Feeling sleepy now... maybe I'll just sleep my way into 2007.

Happy New Year everyone!

Battle (배틀)!!!

Korea's poppin' them out like hot buns from the oven... the latest addition to bask in the boyband craze is Battle aka the new Shinhwa.

Individually discovered during Shinhwa's reality show, Let's Cokeplay Battle Shinhwa, Battle is made up of yet another group of teenage boys. Some I'm quite sure are not even of legal age yet ;)




Battle's debut MV and image is reminiscent of my men of the moment, TVXQ, during their 2nd album, Rising Sun. However, I'll admit that Battle sounds edgier and manlier, despite their tender ages. All the best to Battle. May you survive in the highly competitive Korean boyband market. You have a long way to go... :) Hwaiting!!!

Drool with me!!!

Here's a new pic of my Prince Jae Joong (재중). The photo was featured in TVXQ's 3rd photobook, Prince in Prague. Wish I could buy it! (my birthday is coming soon... *hint-hint*) Hehe! Doesn't he look divine?


I don't care what anyone thinks... he is hot, hot, hot, in this photo... those eyes... those eyes... *dies slowly in ecstacy*

이수영 - GRACE (Lee Soo Young - GRACE)

Yes... I'm a bit slow... I heard her song during the MKMF and I was hooked. Again... I've found the Hangul lyrics and romanized them. Anyone interested? You can find her vids on YouTube. Make sure you watch all 3 of them. There's a deep, deep story... ;) And don't bother trying to identify which girl she is, she never starred in any of her MVs.



By the way... when you listen to this song... blast a fan on your face or stand by the window on a windy day... it makes you feel like you're floating as you listen to the song. Hehe!


Sorry I can't quote the source. I forgot where I got it from.


Original:

뚜루루 뚜루루 뚜
정말 괜찮을 거야 뚜루루 뚜

우리 바보같은 내 사랑을 놓쳐도
라라 라라라라라 라라 라라라라라
괜찮아 질거야

마음 여미고 한껏 단장을 하고
그대와 갔던 거리에도 혼자서
씩씩한 걸음 살짝 붉어진 얼굴
너를 잊기 좋은 날


눈물쯤은 흘려줘도 괜찮아
라라 라라라라라 라라 라라라라라
다 슬픔 씻어 내기 위한 거니까
이젠 자유로운 내가 될거야
사랑 사랑 멀리 떠나라
내 너를 믿고 눈물 흘린 날 두고


정상에 올라 나의 이름 토한 날
나를 누르던 앙금같은 기억도
숨을 몰아서 한껏 뱉어낸 오늘
너를 잊기 좋은 날


눈물쯤은 흘려줘도 괜찮아
라라 라라라라라 라라 라라라라라
다 슬픔 씻어 내기 위한 거니까
이젠 자유로운 내가 될거야


잊는것쯤 별거 아니였지만
선명해진 그리움이여 어찌하나


눈물쯤은 흘려줘도 괜찮아
라라 라라라라라 라라 라라라라라
다 슬픔 씻어 내기 위한 거니까
이젠 자유로운 내가 될거야


눈물쯤은 흘려줘도 괜찮아
라라 라라라라라 라라 라라라라라
다 슬픔 씻어 내기 위한 거니까
이젠 자유로운 내가 될거야


내 사랑아 멀리 떠나라
내 다시 널 붙잡지 않게



Romanized:


tululu tululu tu
chongmal kwaench'anhul koya tululu tu


uri pabogat'un nae sarangul nohjyodo
lala lalalalala lala lalalalala
kwaench'ana chilgoya


maum yomigo hankkyo tanjangul hago
kudaewa kadon koriedo honjaso
ssinssinhan korum sarjjak pulgojin ordul
norul igi chohun nal


nunmuljjumun hullyochwodo kwaench'ana
lala lalalalala lala lalalalala
ta surp'um ssiso naegi wihan konikka
ijen chayuroun naega twirgoya
sarang sarang molli ttonara
nae norul midgo nunmul hullin nal tugo


chongsange olla naui irum t'ohan nal
narul nurudan andgumgat'un kiokdo
sumul moraso hankko paet'onaen onul
norul igi chohun nal


nunmuljjumun hullyochwodo kwaench'ana
lala lalalalala lala lalalalala
ta surp'um ssiso naegi wihan konikka
ijen chayuroun naega twirgoya
inungojjum pyorgo aniyojiman
sonmyonghaejin kuriomiyo ojjihana


nunmuljjumun hullyochwodo kwaench'ana
lala lalalalala lala lalalalala
ta surp'um ssiso naegi wihan konikka
ijen chayuroun naega twirgoya


nunmuljjumun hullyochwodo kwaench'ana
lala lalalalala lala lalalalala
ta surp'um ssiso naegi wihan konikka
ijen chayuroun naega twirgoya


nae saranga molli tt'onara
nae tashi nal putt'jabji anhke


Please feel free to correct me if I'd made any mistakes with my romanization. Sometimes I get a little cross-eyed from reading all that Korean. Haha!

동방신기... 축하합니다!!!

Hey guys!!

Congratulations on your 4 wins at the MKMF. Especially the Artist of the Year award. You guys have worked hard this year and you deserve every one of those awards. In my opinion, you should've won Best Dance as well. ^_^

One thing I wish was that you guys didn't lip synch for your performance. I am certain that you are able to sing live as well as bands like W-inds and SS501. Hopefully we will see a continuation of great things coming from you next year... hwaiting!!! Now that you've proven yourselves to be the best once again, you'll have a great year to look forward to.

Jae Joong (재중): You have many great things going on for you! Stay strong and stay the way you are.

Jun Su (준스): Take care of yourself. TVXQ is made up of the power of 5. You need to be in the best of health to contribute to that power.

Yun Ho (윤호): Continue to lead your band well, take care of yourself and excel!!!

Chang Min (창민): You're a man now...

Yoo Chun (유천): Cry again next year... hehe!

Be happy always... 축하합니다... 그리고 사랑합니다!!!

Me No Pirate...

Erm... at least in the case of TVXQ. I looked through my posts and saw that I'd written about me downloading their album off the Internet. I just want to clarify this little issue. Worry not... true to my words, I've bought not just 1, but 2 versions of their new album. Feast your eyes...

The one above is Version B and the one below is Version D. Me no pirate!!! The only sucky thing about buying the original Korean versions is that there ain't no subtitles!!! The Taiwanese version would have Chinese subtitles but me no can read Chinese. So I'll just have to work harder at my Korean so that I can understand all the videos that come with the albums. Aja!!!

장리인? Jang Ri In? 张力尹? Zhang Li Yin?

I just found out that she existed back in 2005, but this would be her first single. After listening to Timeless (because Xiah JunSu was singing), I decided to give her a chance and listen to the song she sang solo, 'Y'. She's good, and I'll give it to her. Hehe! She will be one of the few Asian female singers whom I do not detest.



I've converted her lyrics to romanized Korean after getting the Korean version from http://www.lyrics.co.kr. Yay!!! Another achievement in reading Korean. If I've made any mistakes, please feel free to correct me.

Original:

내 손 끝에 그 약속이 (baby can U tell me)
아프도록 맺혀서 (can U tell me)
기도하듯 기다려도 (아련하게) 멀어지는 your fantasy

Can U feel my love´s tears 내 슬픔 내 지친
맘을 본다면 (날 본다면) 날 찾아와 줘

Why baby why 날 떠나간 거니
When U need me when U hold me
늘 곁에 있었던 날~ 지워버린 거니
나는 이미 helpless and breathless and speechless
You leave me powerless

아직 못한 ceremony (ceremony)
이젠 모두 잊은 거니
기다림 끝에 그댈~ 본다면 (보게 되면)
모두 줄께 come into me

Can U feel my love´s tears 맨 처음 속삭~임
들린다면 (보인다면) 날 찾아와 줘

Why baby why 날 떠나간 거니
When U need me when U hold me
늘 곁에 있었던 날~ 지워버린 거니
나는 이미 helpless and breathless and speechless

You leave me powerless , I must confess
널 보내곤 넋을 잃고
powerless I´m sapless 버틸 수도 없지만
내가 택한 오직 한 사람
너를 숨쉬고 네게 잠들어 Oh

Tell me why 왜 떠나간 거니
한 순간도 단 하루도
너 없인 힘겨운 날 지워가는 거니
난 이미 helpless and breathless and speechless
You leave me powerless

Romanized Korean:

nae son gut'e ku yaksogi (baby can you tell me)
ap'udorok maejhyo so (can you tell me)
kidohadu kidaryodo (aryonhake) molojinun your fantasy

Can you feel my love's tears nae surp'um nae chich'in
mamul pondamyon nal ch'ajawa chwo

Why baby why nal donagan koni
When you need me when you hold me
nul kyote issossdon nal~ chiwoborin koni
nanun imi helpless and breathless and speechless
You leave me powerless

ajik mothan ceremony (ceremony)
ijen modu ijun koni
kidarim gute kuder~ pondamyon (poge doemyon)
modu churkke come into me

Can you feel my love's tears maen ch'oum soksak~im
dullindamyon (poindamyon) nal ch'ajawa chwo

Why baby why nal donagan koni
When you need me when you hold me
nul kyote issossdon nal~ chiwoborin koni
nanun imi helpless and breathless and speechless

You leave me powerless, I must confess
nol ponaegon noksul irkho
powerless I'm sapless pot'il sudo opjiman
naega t'aekhan ojik han saram
norul sumswido nege chamduro Oh

Tell me why wae donakan koni
hab sungando tanharudo
no obsin himgyoun nal chiwohanun koni
nan imi helpless and breathless and speechless
You leave me powerless

Hola!!

Blogger is taking zillions of seconds to load these days. What a pain!!! Could it be caused by my Korean title? Racist!!!

I'm sitting here with the bloody gastric now. I've just downed a truckload of pills. Hope it goes away. The doctor told me it would either be caused by irregular meals or stress. I don't have irregular meals, so it's definitely stress.

My dear bf won't stop picking on me about the fan fic issue up till awhile ago, so I guess I'll be fine starting tomorrow since we'd sorted that out. I can now write in peace, 'cept that it isn't really peaceful. Thinking of the plot and putting out a min of 2 chapters a day is an arduous task. But when they're up and I get comments from my readers, nothing feels more satisfying. Scratch that... just seeing my fantasy in words on a webpage is satisfying enough. Send chills down my spine.... *shudders*

Right now, I'm getting my fix of FTTS before I sleep. Can't get enough of them and Shinhwa... lovely, lovely love songs... hot, hot dance music... makes me wanna sing and dance at the same time. Waiting for my gastric to heal before I rejoin my dance class. What the heck, I'm gonna learn breakdance if it kills me (or paralyzes me). Hehe! I must be high on Gaviscon (gastric drug) at the moment. Gonna sleep now...

Fever...

Hiya everyone... I'm sorry for not blogging for so long. In the past 3 days, I've been squeezing my rusty brain and typing like my life depended on it. I'm proud to say I have put up 9 chapters of my extreme fantasy on a fan fic site. Those interested to read it, drop me a mail since I don't think it's something everyone wants to read.

As you can see, I'm probably blogging better now from all that practice. Hehe! I have plans to put my fictional epic on blogger, but that depends on whether blogger is gonna release the url I have planned for my site. So for now, let's hear about my mundane jobless life for the past month.

It's been almost 2 months since I quit my job. In the beginning, I felt a bit bored. Having had a purpose to wake up for the last 1 year has made me unable to immediately switch back to being a couch potato/pig. But I am happy to report that I have successfully made my transition and am quite comfortable with the situation at the moment. The only thing bugging me is that my financial resources are slowly depleting, thanks to my favourite addiction, shopping. I must get a job soon. So everyone, wish me luck. I've already been for 2 interviews since I quit.

The only big pain of being jobless is being hounded by my mother day and night to help with chores and stuff. But it seems she's given up a little these past days since I've been so adamant in holing myself up in my room. Hmm... touchwood. For all I know, she may have something in store for me tomorrow.

The past 3 days were hellish and wonderful for me. Hell cos the clockwork in my brains wouldn't stop running and generating ideas for me to write out and put up on the fan fic site. I can't sleep or eat in peace :( It was wonderful for me cos as I wrote, I was almost able to delude myself into thinking that I am truly living the fantasy as I write it. Maybe I should be a writer. It was surprising to find that people were actually interested in reading my fantasies. I always thought that people would find the stuff coming out of my brain boring. This has been a true eye opener.

Because I am so excited about every next chapter I am about the write and the fact that someone keeps bugging me to post chapter after chapter, I've sort of lost my appetite and interest in most things around me. As I've told one of my fans ;) the only reason I even bother to shower is because it would refresh me and help me write the next chapter. My ears are now chocked full with Korean music used to inspire my stories. Then again, I wouldn't say they inspire the plot, it's more like they help me set the mood for the scene I have in mind.

I love theatre. If I ever have the chance, maybe I would do films or theatre. I love writing and I love picking music to set the scenes. I try to include this in my stories by making references to songs so that the readers might listen to them as they read. I feel that if the song has helped me feel the character and helped create the dialogue and chemistry I had in mind, the song would help the reader experience and understand the emotions my characters were going through.

Signing off now. I just hope I don't keep getting too obsessed and carried away with writing my stories that I turn into a zombie or start getting gastric. Pray for me...

Sod off TagBoard!!!

Something has happened to the tag board. So meanwhile, all please comment at the comments section. I'll search for some cute new tag board... :P

Fly to the sky...

No, not me. It's a Korean duo that "mountain tortoise" me had just discovered after watching the Korean variety show, Ya Shim Man Man. I just lurve Brian... he's so cute, bragging about what a good kisser he is and talking about his dating escapades when he lived in the USA.

Who are they? Korean duo, Fly To The Sky (FTTS) debuted on Nov 12, 1999 and consists of Brian and Fany (also known as Hwanhee - 환희). Both of them are born in January 1982. Brian is 7 days older than Hwanhee (I just cannot bring myself to type "Fany" again). Brian went to Rutgers University in New Jersey, where he is from and his parents are casino dealers - so exciting!!!. Don't know much about Hwanhee cos I haven't seen him on any shows yet. Most people would prefer Hwanhee cos he looks like he's got more attitude and his voice is different from Brian. I like Brian cos he's the regular guy, not much image thing going on and a decent voice. He seems to even have the negative traits of the regular guy. Maybe he reminds me of Geoffrey... haha... But who cares if he is regular or cool... Any guy who can sing with that much feeling is in my book of outstanding males ;)

I am currently in love with 3 of their songs, cos that's all I've been able to get my hands on.

1. 비 (Bi - Blood)
2. 남자답게 (Namjadapgeh - Like a man)
3. 습관 (Supgwan - Habit)

If you listen to 비 at first and don't find it at all beautiful, hold your horses, wait for the chorus, I promise you will feel shivers and the warm wave of love wash on you. That's how I felt when I first heard the chorus... then I was frantically searching for it. It was even labelled with the wrong title. I am so lucky to have found it. I wasn't sure if it was the song I wanted when I heard the first 2 verses, then once the chorus started, I had the chills... I was like "Aaahh... yesss...". How often do you get to feel like that? Hehe! Don't answer that!!!

Meanwhile, my Emule is not coorperating, so I can't listen to all their albums and tell you if they are really that good, consistent, bla bla bla... I'm hoping to finish previewing their 6th album, Transition (released early this year, told you I was a "mountain tortoise") and if I like it, when I get my job, I am gonna send HMV.co.jp some Yen for it. Hehe!

For now, everyone can listen to 비, courtesy of OrientPearl's World. But I'd still say that you should go out an get a copy of their album, since they're such lovely guys. We must not let beautiful men become victims of piracy. Hehe! Seek out their MVs on YouTube. You won't be disappointed.



References:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fly_to_the_sky
http://flytothesky.ilikepop.com/
http://flytothesky.pfull.com/

Confession: Though I support Brian, I can't help thinking Hwanhee has a beautiful voice too. They're both so different. So it's actually hard to just like one... Hehe!

그래요??? (Really???)

Yep… it probably is. When they said true love conquered all, it would prove to be true ever so often. Today, I turned on the new 동방신기 (Dong Bang Shin Ki) album and all of a sudden, I am able to love the songs. They don’t sound messed up to me anymore. All I had to do was to focus on their voices, listen to the tunes and feel what they were singing. In the beginning, I’ll have to admit that though I was excited to hear the album once I completed the download, I wasn’t listening with an open heart. Probably on that day, I was feeling hot or bothered. My mood really affects the way my mind and heart feels. So, feeling very “fan” on that day probably closed my heart to their voices. I couldn’t believe that I have criticized the album so badly. It isn’t bad at all, given it is not perfect (what is?). To those who aren’t fans, it may be horrible (Nyeh! :P to you!). You just have to prepare yourself to listen and accept it.

In the past, when I bought an album which turned out to be a disappointment, I’d tell myself to give it a chance. I will listen to the whole album and find a song that I like. Maybe I don’t love the whole song, there could be a song where maybe the guitar solo is the only nice thing, but that would be enough to give me a reason to love the song. So with “O” – 정.반.합., I am starting to view each song with a new perspective. Funny thing is it didn’t even feel forced. I was going to listen to only the 2 songs which I thought were worth listening to, and then I just let the player continue after I’ll Be There. Sure enough, when the next song played, I realized, “Hey, it doesn’t suck at all. It’s pretty good.” I call this ‘allowing yourself to see the silver lining’.

Thinking about this, I feel that this is exactly what a real relationship is like. When you love a person, there will be a time when you encounter something about him that you don’t feel you want to accept, you want to write it off and not ever have it be prevalent in your relationship. But when you are in the state of mind to view it with a new perspective, you may find that it isn’t as hard to accept, overlook or forgive as you originally thought it was. Then you will look the person and remind yourself of the good things and try to put that in your mind all the time.

Love conquers all when everything about the person is accepted and viewed in a positive light. Love becomes blind when faults eventually acceptable or even endearing. However, it will not be perfect every day, which is for sure. On the days you’re grumpy or pissed off; you will not have the patience and heart to be blind to everything. Those are the days you pick on every fault and you may even get annoyed with the sound of his voice, just as I did when I first heard the album. It just sounded like noise to me, until I put myself in the state of mind to listen.

So remember, after blowing off that person because you were not in the mood to deal with him, do something to remind both of you that what you have together is still good and will continue to be strong. When you feel you are in the mood, act on it, show your love, open your heart and mind to accept the imperfections (at least for a day, hehe!). God knows that we’re all not perfect, no matter how much we hope to be.

Recommendation: Read this entry with an extra sappy song. Makes the words sound so much more beautiful. This entry was inspired by just listening to my boys, 동방신기.

Let me be a cow (though I'd much prefer to be a pig)...

Nyeh!!! Not gonna put any links but except for the site of the Clazziquai Project...

http://www.clazziquai.com/

By the way... I bought the soundtrack of My Name Is Kim Sam Soon from the local music store for RM18... seems fishy... but who cares!!?? There is a song on the soundtrack that makes me cry each time I hear it because it's always used at the sad parts and therefore associates my brain to a sad thought each time I hear it. Even when I sing it, tears will run down my face... It's called 이별 못한 이별 (Ibyeol Mothan Ibyeol - Farewell Without Farewell), sung by 지선 (JiSon) from Loveholic.

*note that I am now providing translation for my Korean since I've received complaints from some unadventurous people who do not wanna check it up for themselves :P*

I regret to inform everyone that the new 동방신기 (Dong Bang Shin Ki) album is not as impressive as the last. Apart from track #1, "O"-정.반.합. ("O" - Jong.Ban.Hap) and track #5, I'll Be There, the rest of the songs sounded messy. Don't get me wrong. I still think they sound more beautiful than ever. They have really improved with the vocals and acapella stuff and I think the person arranging the music tried too hard and got carried away with the aim of fully displaying their wonderful ability, making every song sound like a mess of harmonies. Yea... I'm confused too... It just sounds noisy, sort of like lots of people chattering at once. The arrangement did not result in a seamless harmony of their beautiful vocals. The fast tracks did not pack the power like their last album did. Imagine my dismay... Some of the songs even sound retro, in a tired sort of way. I don't know how to describe this album at all, only that it is not what I had expected from gods rising from the east. Oddly, I don't even feel as inspired to dance to track #1 as I did to the fast tracks on the last album... Sad...

So at this moment, I am seriously contemplating if I should spend lots of Japanese Yen by ordering their special edition album from HMV Japan. Should I? A fan should be loyal eh? Lets wait a bit and see how much freebies they throw in with the special edition to make it worth my money.

Once I start, I just can't stop...

Ever notice that most of my titles always end with 3 exclamation marks or ellipses (3 dots, exactly)?

I have a job interview tomorrow, and I dunno how to prepare for it. Maybe cos it's not my dream job, but what the heck... get some cash while waiting for the prefect opportunity to smack me in the face. There is a job I want, and if successful, I would have to go to Bratislava for training. Where the heck is that you ask? That's in Slovakia, a country formerly joined as Czechoslovakia. Isn't that a mouthful? I used to think it was formerly part of Russia or something, turned out it was actually part of the Austro-Hungarian empire. So in addition to speaking Slovak (something like Russian, but a variation), they speak Hungarian and German too! Well, not everyone, but there are like 5 million people there and they probably speak all sorts of languages. I just hope it won't be dreadfully cold if I get to go. Then it will be at least bearable. Cos everyone knows I am always cold... No, I'm not a cold fish or a cold bitch kinda cold, I feel cold with the slightest air conditioning. Maybe a trip to Bratislava will toughen me up :P

Ok, as promised... let's talk about the Clazziquai Project. Their first album was named Instant Pig. How cute is that?!! It's definitely a sign that their music would suit me since the whole world knows how much I love my pigs... Hehe!

ClaZziQuai (this is the correct way to spell it) is actually the name of the DJ/Producer who mixes all the music and to date, they have 3 vocalists. They followed Instant Pig with a remix album, ZBam. Their 3rd album is Color Your Soul, which I found to be lacking compared to Instant Pig. Can't explain why. Maybe some critics will say it was better, but personally, I prefer Instant Pig. Color Your Soul was followed by it's remix, Pinch Your Soul (sounds painful). Apart from releasing their own albums, Clazziquai's name can be credited to many soundtracks of Korean dramas and movies. So lookout for their names if you notice a special song in a soundtrack. Could be them or maybe just ClaZziQuai alone.

For those who feel like venturing out for a taste of the Clazziquai Project, here are my recommendations (majority from Instant Pig):

• After Love
• After Love (Extra Remix)
• After Love (Female Version)
• You Never Know
• You Never Know (Soft Remix)
• I Will Never Cry
• Flower
• She Is (from My Name is Kim Sam Soon OST)

So when is the best time to listen to the Clazziquai Project? Well, to wake up in the morning (puts you in a good mood), when writing or working and when playing games. Their music never intrude with thoughts and concentration but sometimes... they just make you feel like dancing... hehe!

They are back!!!

동방신기 is back with their new album, "O"-정.반.합. 동방신기 fans around the world!!! SCREAM!!!!

I see that they have managed to "un-priss" 준수, 유천 looks like an old man, 재중 looks more Japanese than Korean now, 창민 looks pretty much the same, albeit having grown a bit matured... but what have the done to my 윤호!!! He looks half preppy and part sissy with that poofy hair!!. Why must they mangle him? But it's ok... he still dances like the 윤호 I know and he is singing better this time round. I'm currently downloading the album to tide me over until they release one with a bonus DVD.

After being crushed by the SM Entertainment audition, I must admit that I have neglected my boys for awhile. I was listening to everything under the sky but them (maybe a song or two occasionally). I was listening to Rising Sun and Tonight and Love After Love every day and night until the day I found that I didn't make it. After that, I started to explore new sounds... Who was I listening to? Let me list them so that you can go check them out yourself.

1. Lee Min Woo (better known for his solo name, M)

2. Jang Woo Hyuk

3. Shinhwa

4. Buzz

5. The Trax

6. Clazziquai Project (my latest addiction)

7. An Jae Wook (the original Korean screen god)

No, the above are not numbered in preference. Just random. You'll find rock, rap, R&B, ballads and some Ah Beng music in my selection above. I'll let you guess which genre is for which. Hehe! Clazziquai is great. They sang one of the most beautiful songs for the soundtrack of My Name is Kim Sam Soon. I was sceptical about the series at first. But I watched every single episode, and it was fun and touching. The songs very beautiful, touching and some were cute. Still searching for the proper soundtrack. 2 things on my shopping list now, the soundtrack for My Name is Kim Sam Soon and 동방신기's 3rd Korean album. (Hint! Hint! My birthday is in Dec... geddit?)

Anyway, I thought that I would never come to look at 동방신기 again. I sort of wondered what my reaction would be if they had a 3rd album. I must say I wasn't as excited as I was with the 2nd album, but my love for them is gradually resuscitating itself (woe to my bank account). So with great flourish, I welcome back my boys... I wish them all the success in the world and sob in silence at the thought that I may never ever brush shoulders with them. Their bloody company wouldn't hire me, you see!!!

Ok, enough anger and words... I believe I have fulfilled the blog quota for the day, since people who refuse to blog are forcing me to blog. The very nerve... :P More about Clazziquai in my next blog!

Arrivederci, me caro ~ Acqua di Gio...

Or so I thought :P... I was told by the Parkson sales assistants that my beloved Acqua di Gio was discontinued and found after purchasing it at an independent perfume shop (more like a stall actually) that it was Parkson who discontinued carrying this perfume. It is still very much in production and can be found anywhere around the world except for Parkson stores. After I paid RM205!!! I could have bought it at duty free for less!!! I was actually devastated for a few days, thinking that I will never see and smell it anymore. I have been using this scent since I got it as a present when I was in Form 2.

Oh well... the follies of a shopaholic... at the moment, to prevent any future shocks... I'm setting my sights on a backup perfume. Couldn't find any close enough to this for my liking until I met it whilst flushing my money down the perfumery's pockets.

This... is Ultraviolet Fluoressence by Paco Rabanne. It smells almost like my beloved Acqua di Gio and lasts just as long (not very long). It's an EDT. I can never stand the smell of strong parfum. I'll stick with toilet water, thank you very much.

I just hafta brag...

Check out my new workspace... 19" Philips LCD Monitor... Yay!!!

The Glitz and Glamour in Manufacturing...

Yesterday I was devastated, today I am pissed. Pissed that SM Entertainment didn't have the professionalism to send out mass mails to the "failures". Pissed that they didn't at least make a public statement on their site i.e. Congratulations to the candidates who have progressed to our 2nd audition. For those who have not received word to attend, we regret to inform you that you have not made the cut.

Why???!!! Isn't the image of Korean culture sincerity and kindness? I suppose not. Either this is an illusion they're trying to invoke for tourism purposes, or perhaps it just does not apply to the entertainment industry.

Also... if you are looking for talent within a certain age group, say so in the first place. Don't mislead people into coming for the audition when actually you intend to select only those who are below the age of 20 years. I really do think that the reason I was not picked because I was too old to be trained to be the kind of performer they have in mind. It's hard for me to admit that I am "past my prime", but at least don't waste my time!

Still, I'll continue my dance class, I am going to learn to sing properly and I will learn Korean... all for my own satisfaction. The satisfaction of knowing that I am good and though I may not be able to make a career of it, at least they are skills that I will be proud of.

As for my plans now, I may be staying in Melaka for a bit longer than planned. I have yet to find a job in Singapore which I am interested in. Furthermore, none of those for which I have applied have called me for an interview. I may be switching to my dad's company when my notice is up. At least now, with my 1 year of experience, I won't be paid a fresh grad salary... ka-ching!

The killer plus of this new job is that my superior in my current company, will be working in a department which sort of reports to the department where I will be in. How's that for a payback? She's a nice friend, but as a colleague and superior, she is damn annoying. She's always making me do stuff the long way round... sometimes I think it's the wrong way round. She may have 4 years of experience more than I did, but I don't think that I am less knowledgeable than her. I only lack knowledge in the stuff that I have never had the chance or have been assigned to do. For stuff that both she and I know, we could be on par. I suppose it's also because she is a mother. So she tends to nag and nag, can never come straight to the point and keep harping on pointless issues.

As for Singapore, I plan to get there after my sister graduates so that we can move out together. I don't think I should go stay with my aunties with the current anarchy brewing in the house and also because Geoffrey is not moving out to Singapore yet. I think I'll miss having him around too much.

I'll end my post here. Enough ranting for today. I'll be in Muar for dinner tonight with Geoffrey and his colleagues. Hope it's nice...

Cue Loud Wailing...

Why doth I waileth? I am pretty sure I didn't get into SM Entertainment. I was surfing and searching and I came upon this blog by this delightful girl. It put an end to my K-Dream immediately...

Thank you, Amane, for ending my reverie.

Of course I'll probably still hold on to that glimmer of hope until the end of this weekend, before I officially bid my hopes, on this bloody audition, adieu. How do I even explain how devastated I felt? :"(

I know the reasons I was not picked... I shed a few tears... so it's time for me to move on and get myself a kick-ass career in the mundane corporate world. However, I will never forget what the experience has done for me. As soon as I walked out of that audition room, I felt 10 feet taller. I felt that I finally did something I wanted to do and did it pretty well. My confidence level was on an unusual high for the rest of the week and I am not afraid to say that I have remained confident of myself eversince. It really helped me see that I can do whatever I put my mind to. The rest is up to God. I can now say to myself, "You are a capable woman!".

If SM ever comes to town again, I will be there. If they don't, I will continue to live my life to the fullest. Armed with my newfound faith in myself, I think there is little that I cannot do.

Quitted My Job... Yippie! Erm... Now What?

I finally quit my job. My dad gave me his blessing to do it and I did it the very next day. It felt wonderful when I put the letter on Lucy's table... I was so ecstatic... for a moment... the reality started to set it. Now what am I gonna do? What's my next job? Where's my next job? When am I gonna be reemployed. Ooops!

I spent lots of time, the night before, updating my resume on Jobstreet and JobsDB. I also realized that if you do not registerfor JobsDB in a particular country's database, you may not be searcheable by companies in that country. So that is what I did.

I have decided on my 2 main career choices to try next, Retail Merchandising (preferably to do with fashion) and IT Auditing. Next mission is to search all possible application opportunities for these and bombard them with my resume.

While doing all these, I am still praying very hard that I get picked to join SM Entertainment. I actually found that they do prefer to recruit teenagers and usually take 4-5 years to train them. It really bugs me now to think that they'd think I'm way past my prime to train as an artiste. I hope that I look young enough to them and that the fact that I am older will lead them to believe that I am willing to work harder to achieve this.

I also got to think of the dark side of the entertainment industry. Will I be able to cope with the constant emphasis on with whom do you have connections and how willing are you to sell your flesh (may not apply to every artiste)? I know not every female artiste has to suffer this. But what if? I think guys are really lucky. They'll never get taken advantage of, unless whoever who wants to take advantage of them is gay :P I suppose anyone who wants to do this has to be firm. If you have the talent, you should never stoop to that level. But if you make it your personal choice, I have nothing against it. If you have no talent, you should forget it and try some other career choice than to tarnish yourself like that. Yet again, some people will do anything to achieve fame and I think I am not such a person. I will only go so far. I will only do what is within my physical and mental abilities and not to mention my moral beliefs.

Mountain Tortoise Back From The City ~ Part 2

The other highlight of this Mountain Tortoise's visit to KL was the SM Entertainment audition. Yes, I auditioned to be part of SM, creator of 東方神起, BoA, Kangta, Shinhwa, S.E.S and all those Korean superstars.

I was number 94, but was the 20th person to audition cos my application was messed up. They were suppose to line me up with the group of people who applied online but instead they put me with those who walked in. Thankfully, this kind 누나 let me join the first 20. We went in the room and had to line up in groups of 10 at a time, introduce ourselves and sing something. Everyone had to sing something. If you were auditioning to be a singer, then you'd have to sing longer, if not then you can sing a phrase. If you were auditioning to be a model, after singing, you have to take 3 steps to the front and strike 3 poses. No one auditioned for acting so I dunno what's the auditioning process for that. Those auditioning for dancing will get to dance after all 10 have introduced themselves, sung and get this... dance to a song provided by the organisers. It was a shock at first, to see 10 ppl dancing like mad. But the first 10 people were damned aggressive. Lots of them were vying for the spot which was front and center. In my group of 10, the people were a bit shy, so I had to take the chance to move forward.

To sum up the performances of those I auditioned with, some had the skill, but not the looks. Some didn't have both. Some had the package, particularly this cute and small girl. The judges seemed to pay lots of attention at her. They even ask her to come forward and push back her hair so that they can see her better. Do you think that's a sign that they may shortlist her? She sings fine and dances like Beyoncé. I have a feeling she will be chosen. Furthermore, she spoke a teensy bit of Korean. I think they may love her... Those who were auditioning to be models didn't do very well in my opinion. They did not strike 3 different poses. They were like... hand on right hip, look left... hand on left hip, look right... one cute and confused pose. To think one of them once participated in a bridal fair.

As for me, I have lots of regrets regarding my performance. I introduced myself fine, but I think I lacked conviction. I think I sang well. I chose Lately by Stevie Wonder and sang from the 2nd verse right up to the chorus. When I stopped, one of the judges said that it was his favourite song. Bingo! ;) But I sort of regret I didn't ask if I could sing a Korean song. Then I may have impressed them further. Although I did not write it when filling up the application at the audition (though I did online), I said I was there to audition for Dance and Modelling. That way, I think I'd get more "air time". I think I struck 3 different and strong poses. In the words of the great Tyra Banks, you have to be like "Bam!... Bam!... Bam!". Firm and strong poses. When it came to dancing, there was a screw up again. Apparently the girl at the registration counter didn't know I was in the first group, so she did not pass my CD to the fella manning the radio. There was a moment of confusion, me trying to explain what happened to the judges and the judges thinking that I'd left my CD outside and finally ending with the judges requesting that I dance to their song, which I a little grudgingly agreed to (Note: Not the right attitude for an audition). Just when I agreed, I suddenly sighted KangTa & Vanness' album, Scandal, on the judging table. Coincidence being that I had intended to dance to Good Vibration, from their album. The judges seemed pretty happy that this was my song choice. When I dance, and thank god it was quite smooth, the judges seemed entertained.

So what are my chances of going to Korea to become a superstar? We'll know in 3 weeks when they notify those who are chosen. Let's hope there isn't a 2nd audition, but to be safe, I am preparing for it. Even if I get chosen, maybe I'll end up a backup dancer for BoA or Dana... Boo hoo hoo... But still, if I get chosen, I finally get to do something I've always wanted to do in my life and believe me, I will be working my way to the top.

Thanks a lot to Kat, Elaine and Koon who were there with me at the audition. Your support meant a lot to me. If I do get to be a Korean superstar, you'll be able to brag about me, isn't that great? Hehe! To my baby sister, thank you for calling and telling me that I can do it. After this audition, I really felt that I can do it. If I do fail this time, SM Entertainment, you will be seeing me at your next audition call.

Most of all, thank you to Geoffrey. You piss me off, you make me cry, you frustrate me but you are still the best boyfriend in the world because you love me, take care of me, support me and believe in my abilites. I love you...

Mountain Tortoise Back From The City ~ Part 1

Allo...

Wow!!! The concert was beautiful. I am sure many a fan cried tears of joy when 東方神起 appeared on the stage cos there were fans who also cried when the concert ended. Overall it was a great concert except for the beginning when the sound ppl screwed up the background music. The chorus was playing where it shouldn't be and so forth. The set was elaborate and probably damn expensive. I heard that it cost more than a million.
Yes... it's very blur. I have a lousy camera. So much for Leica lenses. My next aim is to get a video camera. Then I won't have to see this happen anymore.
That's them dancing, if you believe me. Cos the image is so distorted, I would't believe it if I wasn't the one who took the damn picture.This one seems a little clearer cos they were further up front. Again my camera failed me. I'm gonna dump it in the ocean soon.

The other highlight of the concert was the appearance of Super Junior. Previously, I have only seen 1 MV and heard 1 song from them. So I didn't know how good they were, they're quite the entertainers; cute or even fierce when necessary. With 12 members, it was so hard to tell one from the other but it doesn't matter, they're great as a team. So I shall say Super Junior, 파이팅! You will achieve greatness someday!

좋아!!!! 오늘!!!!!!

Yay!! It's today!!

윤호... 기다리~

東方神起... 기다리~

동지, 동지, 파이팅!

좋아! 하루!

Eeek!!! Tomorrow is the day!

좋아! 이틀!

2 more days to go!!!

Photo taken from their DVD - All About 東方神起. Not very clear cos I had to snap them while the DVD was playing.

좋아! 사흘!

Here's an idea! I'm gonna post a photo of 윤호 everyday as part of a countdown till Friday!! Here's is the 1st.

제 東方神起 콘서트 표!!!!

감사함니다 to Elaine for sending me the pictures of the tickets. Would've looked better if scanned, but who am I to complain since they're not in my hands now. Hehe! Maybe I'll scan it after the concert :P

Full View

Close Up

And the 東方神起 fever continues burning... :P~ Will it die after the concert? Will we be disappointed come Friday. I hope not... Hehe! It's hard to find something that you can truly go mad about these days.

바보!!!

ㅘ!!! I only have 1 supporter for this blog. So sad. Anyways... I joined 윤호's fanlisting, membership pending. Check out Essence if you are a 윤호 fan.

I have just finished watching 1 and half of the DVDs from All About 東方神起. As I watch the DVD, I am beginning to see them as human, men and not just the pop idols they are. They seem to have insecurities and they are sensitive, playful, adorable and oh-so endearing. I have to address this to 재중, if he ever reads this.

재중 seems to always portray a lack of confidence when asked about who is better looking or when asked to compare himself to the other members. I would give him the benefit of the doubt and say that he is either shy, modest or utterly unaware of how attractive he is. He does not have conventional good looks, but there is not doubt that he IS good looking. No one can ever say he is ugly. What's more, when he sings, he really blows people away. I never expected him to have such a voice, when singing or when speaking. He sure doesn't squeak like David Beckham :P He has an aura about him that makes him attractive, mysterious and a distinct individual. I have only 1 word to describe him... beautiful ;)

After watching the DVD I saw that 윤호 was not only funny and sweet, playful and adorable, he was also a leader. He acts like a leader, take his role as the leader very seriously and he is righteous and protective towards those who come under his care. He provides moral support to his team members and he is there to push, guide and cheer them up as they do for him too. If this is the real 윤호 I am seeing in the DVD, then I really, really want to meet him in person.

By the way, is this the trait of Korean men? To be sensitive and not afraid to cry. To want to have get married and have children. Every member said that in 20 years time, they want to be married and have children. Majority said that the eyes are what draws them to a person. 윤호 wanted a girl who is smart and is respectful parents. They seem so traditional and romantic. Are these the stereotypes of Korean men? The beautiful idea of the perfect man? Cos it sounds very much like a Korean drama.

I wonder... is there such thing as a sceptical fan. I believe I am such a fan... :P I hate dreaming so much like a fan should. I just feel that it would lead to a huge disappointment in the end. However, though I know that disappointment will come, as usual, I will hang on to the thought of my fantasies of a beautiful life... :)

안녕하서요!!

Yes.. It's a bit too soon. But I found some really cool stuff. This rock group called Buzz. Their song, You Don't Know Guys (남자를 몰라), is exquisite. You can hear it at:

http://www.arirangtv.com/Radio/Pops_Player.asp?UPFILE=/buzz/donknow.asf

You will want to cry your heart out with this song. It sounds so painful and sad...

You can download it at http://orientpearl.multiply.com/tag/korean.

But I would always recommend that you buy the album if you can get your hands on it. But I dunno if the whole album is as nice as this song. Hmm...

YunHo and JaeJoong... ( 윤호 그리고 재중...)

Let's talk about my 2 favourite eye candies... YunHo and JaeJoong. While YunHo is actually the leader, JaeJoong was more of the lead singer in the first album. Though JaeJoong still is the strongest singer, these days, YunHo gets to sing more than his 2 lines back then.

YunHo is undoubtedly the best dancer. He's a regular on Korean variety shows and always involved in dance battles. But... JaeJoong has a real killer body. Still... I prefer YunHo. He's manlier.

Fine... I know this photo does not prove anything, but if you watch the MVs, you can see the difference. But seriously, JaeJoong has beautiful hair. So beautiful, I'm going to get his haircut. I'm sounding more and more like a groupie by the minute. Hehe! For what it's worth, they're only 20, my sister's age. Waaaa!!! I ain't no pedophile!!! I really do admire their singing and dance moves. I wanna learn those moves. How do they come up with it? Why are they so good? I'm getting more and more obsessed. Hopefully the fever will die down after I've seen them live. So, for now until 14-Jul, I shall remain in a state of obsessive-frenzy. Is that a possible feeling? Hmm... JaeJoong!!! YunHo!!! Why must you be children?

Ok... continue expressing my obsession another day. More photos available at their official website...

www.tvxq.co.kr

I'm gonna go brush up my Korean in case I get my chance to speak a full sentence to them.

감사함니다 to Kat & Elaine for coming with me to share this beautiful, once in a lifetime experience!!!

Dong Bang Shin Ki!! Saranghe!!! (동방신기...사랑해!!!)

I am back.. and this time with a vengeance. Why? ㅙ??? For my 동방신기!!! That's Dong Bang Shin Ki. Otherwise known as DBSK, TVfXQ and many other. But officially, they call themselves TVXQ. I've been having DBSK fever for weeks now. Mainly because they're coming to Malaysia, to KL, to Putra Indoor Stadium, Bukit Jalil.

They are truly a phenomenon... at least 2 of them are truly drool worthy. It's bad enough that they can sing and dance like a dream... but they're not even of legal age (that is 21) yet. Waaa! I feel like an old auntie lusting after teenage boys... Don't get me wrong though, they look nothing like children, except for Chang Min. By the way, the poster is not flattering. Here's a better pic...

JunSu-YooChun-JaeJoong-ChangMin-YunHo

With this 2nd album, Rising Sun (순수), they are set to rise to the sun literally. Their 1st album was pure pop to me... but this album is an artwork of mature sounds and vibes. Go buy it... you won't regret it.

So far, I have a few songs from them that I seriously obsess about:

from Heart, Mind & Soul (their Jap album)

My Destiny

Heart Mind and Soul

from Tri-Angle (their 1st Korean album)

Jigumchorom (지금처럼)

Million Men

from Rising Sun (their 2nd Korean album)

Tonight

Rising Sun (순수)

Love After Love

Dangerous Mind

Free Your Mind

It's not too late to get tickets!! What's more, if you buy the LG M6100, the new LG mobile phone named after them, you get 2 free tickets. What are you waiting for???

Urinary Tract Infection (UTI)

Everybody... say this with me... U-T-I!!!

"Urinary tract infections (UTIs) account for about 8.3 million doctor visits each year. Women are especially prone to UTIs for reasons that are not yet well understood. One woman in five develops a UTI during her lifetime. UTIs in men are not as common as in women but can be very serious when they do occur."

Source: http://kidney.niddk.nih.gov/kudiseases/pubs/utiadult/

I am now the one among the five now. So no matter how busy you are, remember to take a trip to the loo. Not only did I get UTI, I got constipation which lead to a horrible muscle ache that lasted until yesterday night. Today, I am finally feeling better. All hail painkillers and laxatives! The doctor also said that the muscle ache could be caused by sitting in a bad posture for long hours. He also concluded that I probably had a lousy office chair which did not provide lumbar support. So if you think you chair sucks, bring it up to your management or you may end up like me. I'va taken 3 sick days this week because of all this hullaballoo...

I'm not going to blab about this anymore. Just want everyone to know that their job is not worth sacrificing their bladder, kidneys, intestines, back... mind. So no matter how busy you are take a trip to the loo, sashay around the department for some much needed exercise and remember to gossip and yak with your colleagues to keep your wits about.

Get In-su-red...

Does anyone think it's time to sign-up for an insurance policy? I mean, I have medical paid for, I've saved more than Rm500 every month (aren't I a good girl) and there are still so many things that I want. Like this Chanel camera bag on your left. Of course not in black!! I want it in white and perhaps 1 big one and 1 small one. Big for work, small for kai-kai. In case you are wondering... No... I don't have the money to buy original. This will be the first time I break my motto of 'buying originals that you can afford'. Why? Cos I desperately need a white bag... Hehe! And I think this doesn't look bad at all... in white. Fluffy!! You better get them for me when you're in Shanghai.. and don't forget my Seaquest DSV DVDs. Yes... I'm a geek...

Also... I need to decide how to colour my short hair... no highlights.. I will not have dye all over my head. I need to find a style whereby I only need to dye certain parts of my hair so that I will look funky and if need be, when my hair dries up, I can just chop it off. I will not have that frizzy-pubic-looking destroyed hair on my head! Not if I can help it. I'm also thinking.. should I continue to use mild styling creams(currently using Redken-RM60)? Or should I start using a hairspray... So many ideas to come up with... so little money to make it happen. Hehe! Especially when I only have 3/4 of my salary this month. Aftermath of taking to many unpaid leaves.

But I think it's high time I invested my money. Cos if I don't, it will end up in the pockets of Giordano, Bossini, U2, Seed, Vincci... and many other favourite charities of mine... Hehe!

Are pouches for fishmongers?

I bought this on a whim yesterday. I know some ppl are gonna say it's U-G-L-Y, but what the heck... it was RM49, 50% off and I needed something like that sometimes.

So... what else did I do since I last blogged? Let's list them out since I'm in the mood for a quickie today. I'll try my best to get them in chronological order. It totally depends on the order from which my brain recalls them.

1. I bought a new shirt and another pair of 3-quarter pants!!
Too lazy to post a pic. You can see it at Giordano. I think it's the latest khaki range or something. And it's white. I feel like I am comitting some kind of suicide by buying white. I'll probably destroy it on the first wear, bleed on it or pour sauce on it, and I can never wear it again :P The shirt was pretty low cut. Didn't think it was when I tried it. Must be the bra. When I went to work, ppl were like gawking, so I had to keep my jacket on the entire day.

2. I visited the Apex pharmacy at least once last two weekends
I had to stock up on my gastric medicine myself since I have no space in my schedule to visit the doctor again. He may wanna scope me, so I ain't taking any chances.

3. I cut my hair really short!!!
Okay... deep breaths everyone... I didn't shave my head. I think I used to have short hair back in Alpha... so this is almost like it.. just a little longer. I am still figuring out how I am gonna dye it and make an impact at the same time.

4. I shouted at my leader
Yes.. I sorta yelled at a superior cos she was like a monkey on my back. She was a bit miffed. I apologised. But every single day at work, I really wanna yell at ppl who piss me off. I grumble a lot at work, loudly. But not about my boss, more about supplier and ppl from other departments. Ppl seem to think badly of me because I complain a lot. Lately, during departmental meetings, I got really vocal. Anytime they ask for input, I will be the first to raise my hand. Yes, I'm a disgruntled employee and I will state my case when given the chance. Only issue I am still not speaking up is that I am damn unhappy with my pay.

5. I had my pre-evaluation/review talk
My manager and the leader I yelled at had a talk with me after work (after I yelled at the leader) about the pros and cons of moi. I can saw that overall they are pleased with my capabilities but not entirely loving my attitude. Who gives a flying fish?? All I can say is that they know what I can do and what I can do is better than most and could be better than the rest of the freshies and they just don't wanna state it in case I get more big headed than I already am ;) One thing they picked on which pissed me to the max was something about walking around and chatting with others. Ever since I was sick and came back to work, I rarely do that. I only do it about once or twice a day and at short intervals and a lot are work related. So wassup with that? They said ppl from other dept would think that we had nothing better to do or we're nto doing our job. What the.... Since I went back to work, I had this idea in my mind: If I just did my work in silence and sit there the whole day, no one will think that I am not doing my work. I did that, and they're saying that I do the opposite. If there is gonna be another talk, I will mention this. I'm getting angry now just thinking about it. I happen to be a happy and active person, if they think that reflects me as a person who is not serious with her work, fine... someday, you will regret you ever suppressed me :P

6. I went to work on a Saturday
It was totally against my principles, but I had to. Had a report due on Monday. I also worked OT on Friday night. Thinking about it. I find that my manager is becoming more and more unreasonable. I find talking to her gut-wrenching. It really hurts. I need her advise and she'd give it to me, with a hint of what I feel is unneccesary information. I'd say... "I'm running out of time.. should I do A first, or B first." She'd say "I'd say A, but in the first place, today is not the day to be doing A" Excuse me, I don't need you to tell my that. If the circumstances didn't cause me to not finish A first, I wouldn't have to ask you this question. Why does she have to be such a cow?? Same to my leader. Cows!!! Sheepish cows!! I think sheepish cows are a good name for them. They're sheepish cos they are afraid of the bosses above, they all do the same thing, have the same attitude. And they are such cows. Sheepish cows!!!

7. I danced like my ass was on fire??!!
Went to Pure after the company's lame annual dinner yesterday night. My colleague brought us upstairs where it's Trance or maybe just dance music. I couldn't adapt at first. For the whole night, at some point, I always felt that it was hard to get into the music. Not enough expression in the music. I think I prefer R&B. But it's true that the mix of music they play downstairs are sometimes really "undanceable". So I just did my best... jumping, shaking, flinging my new short hair all over the place, moving in every way possible. People (including my colleagues) were looking at me. Some were a bit shocked. I kinda wonder if they think I am a good dancer, or I'm just one crazy bitch. But some of my colleagues joined me in my 2 hour long act of insanity. So I think I did pretty good. All I had was a sip of beer and 4 glasses of water. I went to the loo a lot. My compliments to Pure: Finally... a clean toilet with toilet paper!! Word up!! ;)

P.S. I wore flats for the first time. My legs did not get tired like they would if I wore heels and I felt more balanced, but it always feels and looks much sexier to dance on heels. Don't you think? I got to jump around and I think I overdid it cos my knees ached this morning. Hehe! People stepped on my nice white shoe with blue flowers. The whites are fine, but I can't clean the flower cos they're suede!!! I still can't decide... flats or heels?

7. It's good to be the me these days
At Pure, I ran into some ppl I knew long ago. Seniors, my neighbours clique and some friends from long ago. Some of these people didn't even recognise me and I think when they did, they were thinking... this girl was such a geek back then. And now... they're actually wanting to know my name cos I am not the same person anymore. This could be the only time I ever meet them and say hi. I know they are not people I will hang out with and I don't care about them. But it sure feels good to know that people view me differently these days ;)

So much for a quickie... hehe!

Abs!! Here I come!!!

At last!!! I have the key to reclaiming my flat tummy!! I really hope it works. Though I read this little sort of disclaimer in the little paper that comes in the box and it said, "It's no secret... to maintain a firm stomach all year round, you must also exercise, eat well and live healthy... and we encourage you to do so.". What the??!!! I bought this product with the illusion that I didn't have to sweat to get slim... and it better do that for me cos if I still need to exercise, I sure as hell don't need this product. Hmmmph!!

Word Up to Fluffy!

A little encouragement for Fluffy, my sister. Go ahead and take the job and try your best. If you succeed, just as what your lecturer had predicted, you’d have proven that you have the gift to be great and it will be a shiny little badge you can pin to your shoulder.

Don’t be daunted, like the way I am a lot of the times. You could regret you didn’t just go ahead and take a whack at it. You won’t know if you could crack it if you don’t whack it! Hehe! So lame!

Poor Little Sick Girl (It's My Time to Whine)

It be 6pm and I be using da MS Word blogging tool cos da dam Streamyx ain’t movin smoothly.

I am home today cos I had to see the Gastrologist about mein gastric problem. I was just told by my dearest WeeWee that I actually diagnosed myself rather than the doctor. I pretty much told the doctor what was wrong with me and I had an explanation for him for all my conditions. Well, I felt that I said all those stuff and felt I had to explain myself as I was waiting to be contradicted by the doctor. Then, I would know if something else, other than the condition I know I am in, is going on with my body. Anyway, he gave me 2 days MC and gave me 2 kinds of pills. Thank you for the 2 days of MC, but I don’t think the 2 kinds of pills would help unless they were magic pills. Nevertheless, let’s put them to the test. If I am rolling around in pain tomorrow morning, I will know that his medicine doesn’t work and the 2nd day MC was all part of his plan. Though he said that IF I was still not OK, I was to go back and see him, I think he has it all planned out for me to see him next week. He only gave me 1 week’s supply of pills. He better not tell me he wants to do a scope. I find it so intrusive and gross.

Meanwhile, I’m being a spoilt little girl with my grandma back in Melaka to take care of me. What can I say? I need the essential nutrients a sick person would require to get strong and healthy, home-cooked meals. Another plus would be that my grandma always hangs and collects the laundry. Hehe! When I feel a bit guilty, I’d help her. But I think she needs something to do to pass her days, so I let her do it. I take care of general cleaning such as dish washing, vacuuming and mopping the floor and washing my bathroom. Don’t forget, I bathe Mimi!!

I still can’t get the image of that fella at the vet’s cutting her nails. He was cutting like nobody’s business. I doubt he even checked before he cut. He made her bleed a little. I am so freaked out about her getting hurt from getting her nails cut. I really am. I shudder at the thought cos I think I almost cut her once. I did a whole round of cutting for her nails and decided that 1 of them was still too long. She has these blackened nails that are kinda hard to see where the vein are.. as I attempted to cut it, almost cutting into the nail, she sort of squealed and whimpered and pulled her paw away, so I stopped. Up till today, I suspect she was bluffing, but I wasn’t one who was gonna cause any bloodshed, so I developed this phobia of cutting her nails. I tried again last month and she did the squeal and whimper and I was pretty sure I was nowhere near cutting her vein, but I was just so traumatized by the last incident, so I kinda developed a phobia. From then on, I’ve decided that I shall let the vet deal with her. It’s only RM5; small price to pay to prevent the heartache. But seeing her getting her nails cut that day also caused heartache cos I was afraid that they wouldn’t be so kind with her. I dunno. End of the day, she needs to get her nails cut, cos some of her nails grow in a curve and dig into her flesh (happened before) and her nails chip. In future, I will just dump her in the room with the vet and wait outside. I wonder what the pain feels like. Will it equal the pain of getting the tips of our fingers cut off? Eww… Still, I hurt for her.

My job is giving me so much grief now. I’d like to say that I am being fickle and I could be feeling the same 5 months into my next job, but there are ppl throwing the towel after only 2-3 months of the job. So there you have it, I am not abnormal. This is a tough job and it’s hard to hang on. I know many ppl hang on cos they have no better job to go to or they need the income. There are a sprinkle who actually got used to the life and are thriving in the shitload of shitty work this job entails. I, for one, am hanging on by a thread. I could snap any moment. This job has caused me stress, sleepless nights, unstable emotions and gastric. There are so many more conditions I have now that I can blame on this job. This is inhumane work. Call the SPCA!!! Hehe! I dunno. Some ppl just get by and ppl like me will dwell on the whole situation. I dread my job. I am screwing up a day at a time now that I have removed the emotional attachment to the job. Can’t say I’m much happier. But I am definitely not as stressed as I used to be. Though in the long run, I am not gonna be proud of myself when all of it ends. Cos I can’t say that I have given 100% to my job. What do you think? Personal achievement versus sanity…

Finally... My turn...

You would all wonder why I didn't blog during CNY like most ppl (except for The Mindless One), since I had oodles and oodles of time then. I think it's because they were too busy enjoying and most did not have internet access back in their kampung. Hehe!

Anyway, sad to say, not much hype this new year. I think it's because I've aged another year, I didn't party every night for days in a row this year. Also because I lacked the company to go party. So we only made it to Pure once this year. I think it is crap that they force ppl to pay cover charge to go upstairs and listen to their crappy Trance music. I just want to go sit in those round chairs but RM50 is just not worth it!!

The number of ang paos I got this year were sadder. I got like RM500 and my sister got RM700. How did she get so much?? I suppose it just proves that I am less social and that's what I get for making far less pilgrimages to ppl's houses during new year. At least the ang paos covered the pay I lost for taking 4 days of unpaid leave, which would cost me about RM80/day x 4 days = RM360. Ouch!! This is making me super depressed.

Anyway, I'm on Medical Leave today. Was also on Medical Leave yesterday. Caught the bloody flu bug and cos I was so blur yesterday, I forgot to take my panadols together with my flu pills and antibiotics, my fever shot up to 39.1 degrees. It wasn't until I realised and took 2 panadols with my medicine, coupled with "gua sa", courtesy of Geof, that it slowly dropped to 37.1 (measured at 4.30am). Thinking that 37.1 was ok, I didn't take my panadols this morning and woke up with my temperature up to 37.7. I think I better keep taking every single pill prescribed until I am totally back to normal. Stupid doctor only gave me an MC for 1 day, had to go back yesterday evening to get another MC for today. Luckily it was a different doctor, or he may not have given me another MC. So stingy!!

As if being sick is not depressing enough, I think the reason I am not getting better quickly is because I dread going back to work. I just feel that the company is falling apart. Most people in my department only do enough to get by everyday. They can't seem to finish up or do anything properly so as to ensure that they won't have to redo it. I am also utterly disgusted with my immediate superior and one of the leaders. They are always so eager to please the managers above them that they never defend us (the worker ants). One of the managers said that we were to have trainings on Thurs till Sat, knowing that we have to check our shortages from Wed till Friday and we can never finish in 1 day. When I brought that up, the leader said something like "Try to finish it today (Wednesday). You never try you won't know". @$^%%%$#, seriously, what the hell!! What have we all been doing but to try and finish our work within 1 day. Who would not love to finish their work in 1 day?? Who would not love to go home each day with that sense of contentment, knowing that all their work have been done. She totally made it look like I had not been trying my best all this while. After the meeting had ajourned, she started to grumble like I did. I only raised the obvious case and everyone knows that it's true that we are on tight schedules on Thursdays and Fridays. Rather than being our voice, she submitted to the manager's demands. Then why the hell was she made a leader??? Leaders are not sheep!!

Furthermore, Mr. 9 Stars has been harassing me on a daily basis for status that he can check himself in the system. There is an updated, online system for him to look at but noooo... he has to get me to report to him personally. He even told me that I've been working for 3 months and thus should not ask him obvious questions like "Are we still running backlogs?". Then, same to you, Mr. 9 Stars, you have working experience of more than 10 years, you should not need to get me to report status to you. You should be able to see it yourself if you are so bloody capable. On top of delivering the status, should I make you coffee as well??

JanJan is being very aloof these days. She doesn't have this friendly tone when she speaks to me these days and I think she doesn't give a shit that I'm on MC cos she probably doesn't believe I am really sick. She didn't bother to set the notification that I was on MC like she would for everyone else. Or maybe she was too busy to do it. I just feel that she is pissed with me for some reason. Maybe it's because I didn't go back to work on 2nd Feb like she asked me to. I had all the right as I already applied to leave and it was already approved. So if I didn't want to go back, she can't do a damn thing. On the other hand, she was already grumpy before CNY. So I'll just think of it as her being stressed and unable to be civilise with people (or just me).

I really do hope that they terminate me once my probation ends, or if they are giving me an increment of only 10% and below, I am definitely going to leave. I expect 15% or more because I know I am worth that amount. I always finish my tasks. I am most familiar with the system and process flows, compared to the other new buyers. I catch on faster than anyone. Therefore, I feel that I deserve more than a fresh graduate's pay or a miniscule increment. Then again, even if they give me an increment, are they going to expect that I work harder in proportion to that increment? They had better not be. Also, this company has seriously crappy medical benefits. I suppose that it all explains itself, a company which does not have world class HR policies would not attract & should not expect world class employees. In the meantime, I am on a lookout for a new job. Any recommendations?

*UPDATE @ 11:28PM*
I coughed up some phleghm and it had blood in it. Eww!! I'm gonna die!!!

Perky @ 50...

It's official! I am now irrevocably weighing at 50 kg and there is nothing I can do about it. Not even yoga will save me. To think that all I have loved could've done this to me. How could they? Potatoes! I have loved you every single moment. I would have you at any possible opportunity. How could you? Rice!! I was so dependent on you that I had to have you at least once a day. Why did you do this to me? Worst of all, vegetables!! I know I only loved a selective group of you. Rest assured, you did NOTHING for me!!! It's bad enough that the carbohidrates were ungrateful, the lack of good you have done for me is unspeakable! *sob*

By the way, if anyone cares... Skin Food(since 1957)'s Milk Firming Neck & Bust Cream is surprisingly effective. Although it does say milk firming and my neck and bust does not have any milk for it to firm, but it has definitely perked me up. For those who feel they need a little "pick me up" buy it! It only costs like RM36. A small investment with a significant perk!

Finally, I sent my doggie for that much put-off hair cut. She was a bit traumatized by the whole ordeal but is back to her normal happy and prancing demeanour today. Don't worry. She still looks cute, but I hope her hair grows out by Chinese New Year cos this cut makes her look a little old.

KL: SIN CITY!!!

I was in KL for New Year's Eve and I succumbed to one of women's worst vices... shopping. I spent an obscene, absolutely profane amount of money on clothes, which were justified by weak excuse that Chinese New Year was approaching, I needed 15 days worth of outfits. Hehe! So... seriously... if anyone sees me trying to buy a piece of clothing, other than 1 beautiful dress (which I failed to spot in KL) and reasonable amounts of underwear, clob me with the most convenient weapon you can find. I think I have clothes to last me the rest of the year... until the next Great Singapore Sale or year-end Mega Sale or Christmas Sale. OK??!!!

I was so mortified that I couldn't even bear taking pictures of my loot in case I hyperventilated and collapsed from the overwhelming realization that I had blown half of my salary (which includes my annual bonus for this year) on clothes... and I didn't buy CK or Dior or Chanel. Closest I got to branded was Zara and the Zara top costs less than most of the other tops I bought. This pretty much proves that I'm a shopaholic. I had a budget in mind and I totally exceeded it.

I saw this documentary about shopaholics the other day. It turned out that being a shopaholic was almost like being an alcoholic or being obsessive-compulsive. They are all compulsive behaviour that are mostly caused by stress. Therefore, it turns out that you can be cured of being a shopaholic with a prescription of mild anti-depressants or anything from the Prozac family. Hehe! I think I need some. This independent income thing is becoming a major power trip and I need to pull the reins in now! Or I'll end up penniless and homeless, selling my loot by the pavement along the Melaka river.

When I manage to muster some courage, I'll publish some pictures of my obscene shopping. *cackles*