Day 4.5

My whole day is packed with meeting people today... haha. Just met an old classmate, and in awhile an ex-colleague. I'm generally feeling positive.

At this moment, I feel that I really wanna move forward. I can only say this at this point... no matter how okay I seem, and how I look like I've forgotten everything that's happened and moved on, never discount the fact that I may still love you that much. It may take me time to decide, but if you want me that much, make sure you have the balls to come back and ask for my heart again. You'll never know if it's still yours. I fear that you may give up just because it looks like a challenge, or you think I'm better off without all this. Maybe... but let me be the judge of that. You just need to straighten out your mind and ask yourself what is it that you want. Meanwhile, I am just trying to put away everything in a locked chest just so I can survive my days ahead. I leave the key with you...

Someone told me that I shouldn't delude myself that there is a "right person" for me. People will always change, and we should just deal with it as it goes along. This fact rings in my head now. I cannot control someone who has decided to change his mind, so all I can do is to make do until my life stabilises, and all things feel as normal as they can be. This love has made a mark in my heart. It may have scarred it too. But this also means that it will always occupy a space within me. It will be totally up to circumstances in the future if it will be revived, or simply just live out it's life within me, like any scar on my body would. I still hope I'll at least meet a person who will make me feel alive. As alive as I've ever felt in the past few months...