Day 19 & 20

I missed a day not because I was busy having a good one... I was busy with the shittiest day ever. Plus today...

My boss basically let me know I'm an employee with an attitude. Attitude with a capital 'A'. I have apparently been taking advantage of the good wills provided by my company. On top of that, he hinted that I was lazy and unprofessional. It's always great to know that you are a model employee.

Today I think he finally got a taste of what it felt like to be in my shoes with my customers. Yet... rather than defend me, again, I didn't expect him to, he just agreed to most of their demands. Way to make me look incompetent. The customer knows that they need to get past me to make him agree, and he had just possible created more problems for the team and the company by agreeing. I expected him to react in a way that protected the team or company's interest, but he didn't. It doesn't matter though, now that the ball is in his court. Let him solve it. I'm just waiting for the right time to let him know that I can no longer SERVE him and the company. When shall I do so? :( I suck at walking away...

I still need to work tonight... I hate my job... I hate my life... everything seems to have started falling apart since the past month... it's been the hardest month for me, personally and professionally. I'm surprised I'm still standing. I guess I'm made of tougher material than I thought I was. I just wanna survive now. I wish there were people I could lean on, hold their hand or just get a big hug and a shoulder to cry on. No such person now... maybe there will never be again. My bolster is my best friend now...